Live simply, like a child.
An infant needs very little to be happy. Clothes, food, love, and a place to explore, that’s it.
They have so few needs. And yet they’re so happy. Or when they’re not happy, it’s usually because one of their few needs is not being met.
As these toddlers grow up, their needs multiply faster than the hairs on their head.
But many of these needs are made up.
We invent them to address fears, insecurities, and worries about the future.
Worst of all, these needs are insatiable. We buy more stuff, but don’t come any closer to satisfaction. We invest more of our precious time but end up further from the destination. We work harder to find happiness, but instead, we carry an enormous burden.
Sadly, most people can’t recognize imaginary needs in their own life. The sheer number and influence of these ‘needs’ make them appear so real. They weave their way into our subconscious and shape the way we see the world.
- the need to keep busy
- the need to please everyone
- the need to be entertained constantly
- the need to stay current with news and trends
- the need to buy gifts for everyone, on every special occasion
- the need to hoard money and possessions to feel secure
- the need to be involved in every single activity
- the need to be the center of attention
- the need to be perfect or the best
- the need to have all the answers
- the need to control the future
- the need to impress others
- the need to be right
But letting go is awesomely liberating. Like a child on the last day of school, you’ll be light as a feather, happy, and free to do whatever excites you. Children aren’t weighed down by pressure to impress, prepare, or perform. They simply live, keeping their needs few and their joys many.
Simplify your routines
The default for all of us is to keep adding more and more to our lives. We’re constantly searching for that one thing to fill a void we are feeling in a particular moment or season. And so our list of things that we “need” to do each day becomes longer and more complicated.Strip away the nonessential
Now, as you go throughout your day, pay attention to where your mental energy is going. Make a list of all the things that you do and think about. It might take a few days or even a week to gather a full list.Sit with your boredom
If you attempt this new way of living, you will inevitably find more time on your hands, time that you used to spend on distraction, worry, or some other invented need. You will inevitably feel a bit of boredom. This will feel scary and uncomfortable, but it’s a normal part of the adaptation process.Sit with your emotions
On top of boredom, you will likely feel other difficult emotions. I’m telling you this so you won’t be surprised. Nothing is wrong. You shouldn’t throw in the towel, because the other side of this transformation is worth it. You’ve likely been using imaginary needs to fill voids in your life or hide from these difficult emotions or important but difficult personal work. In a sense, we are ripping off a bandage that was obstructing healing.Allow your ’tastes’ to adjust
Imagine you’ve been living on a high-salt, high-fat, high-sugar fast-food diet, and someone tells you to start eating more healthy and hands you a high-fiber sandwich full of veggies and avocado. That sandwich may be delicious to some, but for you, the change sounds impossible—and it probably is.Your tastes are accustomed to a diet of foods that are unnaturally stimulating and perfectly optimized for pleasure. Even a satisfying and delicious balanced diet would taste bland at first. But believe me, there’s hope.