A gnawing sense of irrelevancy and invisibility suddenly hits many aging adults, as their life roles shift from hands-on parent to empty nester, or from workaholic to retiree.
Self-worth and identity may suffer as that feeling that you matter starts to fade. Older adults see it in the workplace when younger colleagues seem uninterested in their feedback. Those who just retired might feel a bit unproductive.
New research suggests this perception of becoming irrelevant is very real. And that’s why some seniors are determined to stay social, remain relevant, and avert the loneliness often linked with aging.
“As people get older, there are fewer and fewer opportunities to feel like they make a difference and matter,” said sociologist Markus Schafer, a faculty associate at the Institute for Life Course and Aging at the University of Toronto.
“One thing about Western societies, in general, is they’re much more a youth-centered society and don’t oftentimes give careful thought on ways older people can contribute to the lives of future generations,” Schafer said.
Having purpose and meaning forestalls loneliness, which takes an emotional and physical toll. Studies by Lisa Jaremka and other researchers have found that loneliness is associated with weaker immune systems and poorer physical health.
“It’s about staying visible and staying engaged,” co-founder Amy Temperley said. “If you hunker down in your house and you don’t interact with the world, you will decline.”
The model she and her husband, Damien, devised offers options to keep individuals active and engaged. For $24 a month, members can attend unlimited classes and group activities, including brain and memory training; social and volunteer activities; and fitness classes that stress strength, mobility, and flexibility.
“We really wanted people to have a sense of community,” Temperley said. “Now they’re starting to talk about themselves as a tribe. They get together after classes. It’s evolved into not what we expected, but better than we expected.”
In addition to the membership group, the company offers 40 to 50 classes a month at assisted living and senior living communities. It also maintains a nonprofit fund at a local community foundation, allowing it to raise money for free classes at senior housing and recreation centers in low-income neighborhoods to spur social connections.
Similar efforts are underway across the country as organizations, from the National Council on Aging to local YMCAs as well as city parks and recreation centers, create social and recreational programs for “active older adults.”
A program to boost well-being, strength, and social activities called SilverSneakers, for adults 65 and older, is free with certain health plans. Although approaches vary, the overall aim for active older adults is to promote physical and mental agility and keep loneliness at bay.
Among these strategies, volunteering is now seen as an effective way to battle irrelevancy and loneliness. Buoyed by research that’s found health benefits for older adults who volunteer, one such study led by a Florida State University sociologist showed that volunteering appeared to have the same positive influence on health as exercise and not smoking.
“Volunteering is shown to be, in many ways, a health behavior,” said Dawn Carr, an assistant professor of sociology at Florida State in Tallahassee.
Retired school nurse Linda Levy, 69, has always been an active volunteer, even as a mother working full time in Pikesville, Maryland. But after she and her husband moved to Austin about 18 months ago to be closer to their son’s family, Levy is doing something new—working part time in retail.
“I just wanted to do something I could fit in with my schedule for family and to meet people,” she said. “It gave me a purpose. I needed to be able to say, ‘I’m going to work.’”
Finding employment isn’t so easy for older adults, which is why job search strategist Toby Haberkorn co-wrote a book, out last year, titled “Best Job Search Tips for Age 60-Plus: A Practical Work Options Resource for Baby Boomers.”
Haberkorn advises job seekers to update their appearance and “show you have the energy and expertise to manage the workload.”
Haberkorn’s tips for staying relevant in the workplace are also pertinent in daily life: “Show flexibility and adaptability rather than regurgitating the past. Become reasonably social media- and technology-savvy. Familiarize yourself with what young employees have an interest in—the music, whatever current events, the apps—and be able to have a reasonable discussion. Do not say, ‘Boomers have a better work ethic.’ Never, ever say, ‘I’m having a senior moment,’ or, ‘I have a child your age.’ Don’t discuss your grandchildren. And keep your aches to yourself.”
Haberkorn also advises taking a hint from 96-year-old actress Betty White.
Sharon Jayson is a staff reporter for Kaiser Health News. This article was originally published on Kaiser Health News. KHN’s coverage of these topics is supported by John A. Hartford Foundation and Gordon and Betty Moore Foundation.