Jane, a client, was heading out to see her stepfather. She had described him as someone who talked incessantly about his importance and the remarkable things he’d accomplished (a lot of which weren’t true). At the same time, he’d never expressed curiosity in Jane or followed up on anything she shared. He often spoke about issues on which Jane was far more an expert than he was, yet he never acknowledged her expertise—and certainly never asked for her input.
In her stepfather’s presence, Jane described feeling like she didn’t actually exist as a real person who had her own life. As she painfully explained, “He’s never actually used the word ‘you’ in a sentence, referring to me; it’s as if there’s no me at all, or certainly not one worthy of interest.”
