No matter your age or the roles you have, personal growth is one of the most satisfying pursuits you can choose. Seeing yourself become more like the person you want to be is as pure and simple a pleasure as you’ll ever experience—especially when that vision benefits those you love.
In my experience, growth is not the default mode unless you’re a child or adolescent. For us adults, growth slows exponentially as we settle into comfortable routines and eventually drift into stagnation.
6 Ways to Continually Expand Your Horizons
To recapture the vim and vigor of youthful growth, you have to make it your aim. You won’t stumble into it anymore than you might stumble into 6-pack abs or learning a new language.
1. Assume That Every Problem Is Solvable
To believe that every problem is solvable is a foundational belief for human growth. When you live this way, you can reframe failures as opportunities to learn and keep trying, since you never know when a breakthrough might occur. I’ve had many breakthroughs that came on what felt like my hundredth attempt to improve, and I haven’t always known why it happened then.
2. Face Discomfort in Manageable Doses
The fastest periods of growth I’ve ever experienced all came through discomfort. Whether it was joining the cross-country team, traveling abroad, learning a new skill, or having children—the initial feeling was always one of overwhelm or fatigue. Immersive environments push us out of our comfort zones and require us to adapt and absorb new things quickly. Truth be told, it’s fun to challenge yourself in this way, and no matter your age, it’s something I highly recommend.
3. Carve Out Regular Time for Reflection
I used to listen to podcasts or music on my walks or while driving, but found it left me feeling a bit overwhelmed, like there was never a time when my brain could just slow down and breathe. Now I’m pretty intentional about keeping that time free so my mind can wander and reflect on my day or my life. Some of my clearest thoughts have come during those quiet times. It’s important to set goals and strive, but also to have time to mentally take stock of it all.
4. Measure Growth by Direction–Not Distance
When it comes to growth, one of the main struggles is staying motivated. Almost anyone who stays motivated and keeps trying eventually makes progress—but staying in the game is the hard part. I sometimes find it discouraging when I look too far ahead at where I want to be because often, there’s still quite a way to go. Instead, try to focus on where you’re going and take pride in the direction you’ve chosen.
5. Believe That a Better Life Is Possible
Too many people get stuck in a rut and begin to think that nothing ever changes. They start to see life as something that happens to them, as something they are only observers of, not the main characters. Lack of personal agency is self-defeating, as it makes you less likely to try things that might work. One of my favorite images to remind my friends of is that life has many levers and you just have to decide which one you want to pull, and then give it a good yank.
6. Surround Yourself With People You Admire
Speaking of levers, one of the strongest is reshaping your environment, and one of the best ways to do that is to surround yourself with new people. In fact, one of the simplest, most useful ways I think about my life is through the different seasons of close friends I enjoyed. Looking back, it’s clear I was shaped profoundly by my friends and became like them in many ways. Seek out friends who inspire you, and over time, you’ll drift in their direction.
7. Resist Complacency
Many people seem happy to coast along in their lives. They’re not exactly satisfied, but they’re not so bothered that they want to change things either. I’m not here to judge anyone for what they do, as I haven’t walked in their shoes, but, in general, I find this condition a bit sad. We aren’t born to accept complacency. If you have kids, you know they are always trying new things, pushing new frontiers, and expanding their horizons. Actively engaging in change and renewal honors the gift of life, and more of us should be cultivating a similar attitude long after we grow up.
Mike Donghia
Author
Mike Donghia and his wife, Mollie, blog at This Evergreen Home where they share their experience with living simply, intentionally, and relationally in this modern world. You can follow along by subscribing to their twice-weekly newsletter.
