In some cases—though certainly not all—it is those very communication technologies that may be fueling the problem. Social media and other online interfaces simulate genuine human connection without giving real substance. Internet socialization becomes an ultimately unsatisfying substitute for the real thing. Speaking with The Epoch Times, John Puls, a licensed psychotherapist and nationally recognized expert on mental health, put it this way:
“Social media, exacerbated by COVID, has caused many people to become more isolated from friends and family. Online relationships can serve a purpose, but without genuine in-person connection, people are much more likely to feel lonely. This causes a significant increase in depression and even suicidality.”
Social connection helps us not just physiologically, but also spiritually and emotionally.
“Plus, when we meet new people,“ Rosenfeld said, ”we gain new perspectives and build a wider network of support we have access to. That matters at every age.”
Keisha Saunders-Waldron, an adjunct professor at Northwestern University, licensed therapist, and founder of Confidential Confessions Counseling, said that social connection isn’t just about avoiding health pitfalls.
Markers of a Happy Life
All this aligns with the findings of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, the world’s longest-running scientific study of happiness. The Harvard study has been running since the 1930s, following the life outcomes of participants for decades. The project found that good relationships constitute one of the key markers of a happy, healthy, and long-lived life. The study found that people who are more connected to family, friends, and community are happier and healthier than those who are less connected.So human connection is key. But how do we form it? Lonely people usually lack the friendships they wish they had. Plus, they don’t always know how to break out of that state. They need to know how to meet new people and begin developing relationships.
Unfortunately, making friends as an adult is harder than as a child. Most of us don’t feel free to just walk up to strangers and set off a conversation the way we might have as children. Meeting people as adults requires more intentionality, forethought, and effort.
“The effort has to be there. Relationships don’t just materialize out of nowhere. You have to put yourself out there,” Puls said.
Small Steps You Can Take
The experts who spoke with The Epoch Times on the subject said that meeting people and making friends—especially for introverts—requires small, consistent steps and a willingness to push past initial discomfort. Every expert advised joining groups, clubs, communities, or classes built around shared values or interests. This provides a built-in framework for social interactions, interactions that can begin with very simple conversations with fellow participants.Rosenfeld said, “By design, they give you something to talk about and take the pressure off.”
Similarly, Puls advised joining groups centered on a common hobby or a religious organization. Some level of connection will already exist between the other participants.
Technology can help you find these groups and connections, but it is important not to stay stuck behind the screen.
Tessa Stuckey, a family therapist and mental health expert, told The Epoch Times, “From a mental-health perspective, it’s OK for adults to meet new people online—but relationships grow and deepen through real-life connection.”
According to Stuckey, technology should be seen as a starting point, not an endpoint. “The key is moving those connections into shared, in-person experiences over time,” she said. “Eye contact, body language, laughter, and physical presence are what allow trust, safety, and belonging to actually form.”
Technology can initially make forming new connections feel less threatening, but pushing past discomfort is a necessary step along the journey. “Stop waiting to feel ready or outgoing,” Saunders-Waldron said.
“You don’t have to transform into an extrovert to make friends. Introverts actually build deep connections really well—they just need different strategies. Start small. Pick one activity you’re genuinely interested in and show up consistently. It could be a book club, a hiking group, a pottery class, whatever. Consistency is key because friendships form through repeated, low-stakes interactions.”
She encouraged people, particularly those who are more reserved, to make the first move, such as inviting someone to get a coffee, even though it might be frightening. “Most people are also lonely and waiting for someone else to initiate,” she said. On the flipside, be ready to accept invitations from others.
Rosenfeld advised introverts to make use of their innate curiosity.
“You don’t need to be the loudest voice in the room,“ he said. ”Instead, be the most attentive. Ask genuine questions that let other people share their perspective and do more of the talking. Be curious about their point of view and experience.”
Initially, actions like these—joining a group or club, asking fellow participants simple questions, then following up with invitations to spend time together—can be difficult. But you never know what kind of valuable, life-long relationships you may be forming. The data, as well as our inner impulses, confirm that such relationships form a key pillar of a happy and fulfilling life.
