As the holidays approach, the issue of gift giving looms large. Marketers will do everything they can to get your child longing for their newest toy or game. And while those gifts may delight your child, there are ways to deepen the meaning of the holiday and broaden it beyond the narrow focus of gifts. Here are some tips to do just that.
Use ‘Want’ and ‘Need’ Accurately
Words are always powerful, and during this season, two of the more important words are “want” and “need.” Make sure you use them correctly; teach your children the difference and correct them often when they misuse them. Do they “need” a new phone or “want” one? Do you “need” another cookbook or “want” one? Show them, through your conversations and decisions, that you’re more committed to meeting their needs than to giving them everything they want.Prepare Children to Give, Not Get
Let’s talk more with our children about what they’re going to give others than about what they want to get. Ask them to think about what their siblings, other relatives, and some friends might need and want.Ask them to spend a few days observing people. Suggest that they ask themselves questions about each person as they watch: What do they love that is old now? What could they do better or more often if they had something else? After they’ve observed, ask your children what they think would be great gifts to purchase. Make a big deal out of putting others first. Make the shopping trip and wrapping the gifts a part of the fun.
Give Away What You Have
We all have things we’ve outgrown and things we won’t use again. To increase other-centeredness and decrease self-centeredness, everyone in the family can choose used-but-nice things to give away in the weeks before Christmas.You can choose clothes, toys, games, DVDs, books, kitchen supplies, tools, office supplies, decorations, and more. This is a sure way for everyone to come face-to-face with the reality that they already have a lot, and yet they’re going to get more in a matter of weeks. The family can clean everything and decide together where to donate it all. School administrators often know families in need. Your church might, too. And there are local ministries and non-profits who can accept and distribute used things. Celebrate giving!
Three Gifts
In Luke 2:11 of the Bible, we learn that the Wise Men brought three gifts to the Baby Jesus. Based on this, many parents choose to buy three gifts for their children. You could buy them something to read, something to play with, and something to wear. Or something to learn from, something to play with, and something to wear. Another option could be something to enjoy alone, something to enjoy with others, and something to wear.Talk with them in advance so they have realistic expectations for Christmas morning. Of course, they’ll most likely get gifts from siblings, grandparents, and others, so this isn’t all they’ll get. It’s just that parents can model personal, intentional, limited giving. Giving fewer gifts can decrease entitlement and increase gratitude.
Buy Their Own Gift
As my brother, cousins, and I got older, it was harder for our grandparents to choose Christmas gifts for us. One year, our grandparents had a fabulous idea. They gave each of us money on Thanksgiving so we could buy ourselves a Christmas gift. We chose what we wanted, wrapped it, put it under the Christmas tree, and opened it in front of everyone.We were the only ones who knew what it was. It seems so backward, but it was fun. It helped us understand the value of the money and was less stressful for our grandparents.
I remember my cousins often buying expensive athletic shoes. I purchased pieces to my first nativity set, which began my collection, and finished it after several years. I now own 143 nativities from around the world and display them all year-round in my home and office.
This article was first published in Radiant Life Magazine.
