Since grieving is as individual as a fingerprint, each person’s journey through it is unique. I will share some suggestions that helped me get through the devastating early years after the loss of my son in hopes they can make the journey a little less painful for you.
Grief Groups
There is a Swedish proverb that says “Grief shared is halved but joy shared is doubled.” I believe this is true. Grief groups aren’t for everyone, but my husband and I found The Compassionate Friends to be a lifesaver, especially in the beginning. At first, I was frightened and barely able to share my story. As each person in the group shared his or her unique loss, however, we felt connected and not as lost or alone in our grief.
We learned that anger, memory loss, anxiety, inability to make a decision, excessive crying, and trouble sleeping were all “normal” after losing a child. We became hopeful that we, too, could survive and eventually rebuild our lives as these other parents who were farther along in their grief had done. The Compassionate Friends has over 600 chapters around the country, one near you can be found on the group’s national website.
Additionally, there are hospice groups who team a professional grief counselor with a group of people experiencing similar kinds of losses (such as loss of a child). We also found this to be very helpful. Ours met weekly for nine weeks and had a nominal fee.
Personally, I found that the general grief support groups at local hospitals or churches were not nearly as helpful. Losing an elderly parent or spouse is difficult, but it cannot compare to the loss of a child. It was so much more helpful to be with other families who had experienced a loss like ours.
