Who among us has not made a plan to get up in the morning and exercise, but then hit snooze one time too many and slept through our morning jog?
We may have been super-inspired by the incredible brain-boosting properties of exercise. We may have had every intention to start an exercise plan and stick to it. But then our warm bed sucked us in. “We’ll exercise tomorrow,” we told ourselves.
When you’re aware of what you’re doing (for example, “I’m feeling tempted to scarf that down.”), you’re actually engaging the part of your brain you need for willpower, rather than letting your impulses take over. Meditation gives you practice at engaging your self-awareness; as a bonus, deep slow breathing also helps strengthen your self-control.
Alcohol also reduces self-awareness, and it’s self-awareness that we need most to bring us back to our goals.
If you are trying to stop snapping at your children when they’re running late, make a plan for what you’ll do when they’re dawdling and you’re in a big hurry. Write out what you’ll do instead of yelling—for example, take deep breaths, walk away from the car, and so on.
If you do blow it? Forgive yourself and move on. You are only human, and judging yourself as a bad parent or lazy slob will make you less likely to meet your goals—and more likely to give in to your impulses.
For example, I could tell myself, or my neighbors, that I’m exercising more because I want to be a good role model for my children (what I should want). But what I really want even more than that is to fit into my jeans and feel healthy. Research suggests that these less moralistic motives can be more effective for some people in some situations.
Read About Will Power
Find dozens more tips for improving willpower and forming habits from the four amazing, research-based books listed below (and if you can only read one, read Kelly McGonigal’s book):“Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength” by Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney. Penguin Group US, 2011.
“The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business” by Charles Duhigg. Random House Publishing Group, 2012.
“The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It” by Kelly McGonigal. Penguin Group US, 2011.