When Caring for a Sick Spouse Shakes a Marriage to the Core

When Caring for a Sick Spouse Shakes a Marriage to the Core
When one spouse becomes dependent on the other, life plans and the patterns of the entire relationship often have to change. Dmytro Zinkevych/Shutterstock
Updated:

For a dozen years, Larry Bocchiere, 68, didn’t find it especially difficult to care for his wife, Deborah, who struggled with breathing problems. But as her illness took a downward turn, he became overwhelmed by stress.

“I was constantly on guard for any change in her breathing. If she moved during the night, I’d jump up and see if something was wrong,” he said recently in a phone conversation. “It’s the kind of alertness to threat that a combat soldier feels. I don’t think I got a good night’s sleep for five years. I gained 150 pounds.”

Judith Graham
Judith Graham
Author
Judith Graham is a contributing columnist for Kaiser Health News, which originally published this article. KHN’s coverage of these topics is supported by The John A. Hartford Foundation, Gordon and Betty Moore Foundation, and The SCAN Foundation.
Related Topics