Tea Etiquette: The Dignity of the Cup

Always hold the tea cup by the handle, not the bowl, and hold the saucer in your off hand if you move away from the table. (Ekaterina Pokrovsky/Shutterstock)

Whether you’re hosting high tea, afternoon tea (low tea), or simply sipping a cup in front of the fireplace, ritual adds to the enjoyment.

Not So ‘High’ Tea

The words “high tea” conjure an image of a royal, fabulous fête with divine snacks set in the glamorous backdrop of Buckingham Palace. That couldn’t be more wrong. High tea was actually a working man’s reward at the end of a long day, delivered in the form of a hearty meal of meat, baked beans, potatoes, and the best tea the family could afford. The “high” actually refers to the high-backed chairs at the dining table.

Conversely, the fancy afternoon tea (low tea), which we’ll get to in a minute, uses low chairs. Surprise your friends by using the term correctly, forgoing the fancy treats, and hosting a hearty kick-back-and-relax gathering with some exceptional tea.

High tea was actually a working man’s reward at the end of a long day. (Pixel-Shot/Shutterstock)

Afternoon Ambience

Afternoon tea is elegant: the lovely place settings, classic low chairs, and modern dress code of smart casual exude a pleasant level of formality. You can’t go wrong with “cream tea,” a simple menu of fine tea, scones, and cream. Add some fresh strawberries to turn it into a “strawberry tea,” or opt for cakes and cookies to make it a “light tea.”

When many people think of afternoon tea, they may have images of tiny sandwiches followed by sweets and scones—also known as “full tea.” It’s all about the finger foods, with nothing that requires cutlery (other than the knife to spread clotted cream onto your scone); always break your scone in half or nibble off delicate bites, never cutting it with a knife.

Savvy Sipping

Put that pinkie finger down! Always hold the teacup by the handle, not the bowl; the only exception to this rule is when you’re at home in front of the fireplace on a brisk fall day, cuddling with your favorite brew.

The saucer stays on the table, unless you’re moving a foot or more away from it. In that case, hold it in your left hand and the cup in the right; reverse the order if you’re left-handed.

Resist the impulse to blow on your tea to cool it; allow it to dissipate its heat naturally if it’s too hot to sip. Take small, quiet sips. Never swish the tea around in your mouth—this isn’t a wine tasting! Never, ever dunk your scone into your tea.

Afternoon tea is elegant: the lovely place settings, classic low chairs, and modern dress code of 'smart casual' exude a pleasant level of formality. (Happy Stock Photo/Shutterstock)

Taste Sensation

The tea is the star of your show, so start with the right water, ideally purified with a neutral pH of 7. Overly hard alkaline water has less chemical “space” to extract the essence of the tea leaves, while soft acidic tap and distilled waters will extract too well and impart a bitter, tannic taste.

The right brewing temperature and steeping time also are critical. Light teas, such as green and white teas, prefer the 170- to 185-degree F range, with steep times of two to three minutes. Darker oolong and black teas will release their best flavor at 185 to 195 degrees F when brewed for three to five minutes.

Precise Pours

The host or one chosen guest should pour for the entire table; when in doubt, the person nearest the pot should offer to pour, filling their own cup last. If the pot is between a lady and a gentleman, the gentleman should offer to pour. Use a tea strainer, if required, filling each cup three-quarters full. Always pour into an empty cup.

But your grandmother always added milk first, you say? Milk was once added first over concerns that the hot tea would crack the delicate cup. Modern teacups are made of more durable porcelain, so go ahead and pour the tea first, just three-quarters full to allow guests room to add milk, lemon, or sweetener as desired to create their own perfect cuppa.