Often times I find myself wanting more. More of what you ask? More of everything! I want to be leaner, I want to be faster, I want to lift heavier and more challenging weights, I want a faster car, nicer house, and more free time to spend with loved ones.
This flows into all areas of my life, from my training to my work and into my personal life. I like to achieve stuff and progress and constantly better myself. But when is it enough? And what am I looking to gain from all this “achievement?”
There is good reason I operate this way and I know for sure that I am not alone. Turn on a TV, pick up a magazine, or listen to 9 out of 10 conversations in any coffee shop anywhere and it’s the same old story: “If only I was skinnier” “If only I could lose this last little bit off my tummy” “If only I could come first for once” “If only I had that: tight bum/flat tummy/car/house/hairstyle/husband/legs/wife/job then I would be happy!”
As a society we are told that it’s the next thing we attain, earn, achieve, or own that is going to make us happy, fulfilled, or good enough. Now don’t get me wrong, having goals is an essential part of health and fitness, and you won’t achieve your dream body without them, but what happens when you reach a goal? Does it make you happy? Does it make you content? Does it give you that feeling you expected it would?
Achieving Goals
Let me explain, for those of you that don’t know, I used to be overweight (in fact I was a real deal fatty. Like everyone else I read magazines and watched TV and was under the impression that “if only I looked like that guy in the magazine” I would be happy because I would be winning at life, and as such, would have a marching band follow me around declaring me a successful human.
I was sadly mistaken. My initial goal was to lose weight and “be happy with my body.” I lost over 70 pounds. Although this was a massive achievement and improved most areas of my life, I wasn’t much more comfortable in my body. So I set my next goal, which was to have visible abs—surely then I’d be satisfied. So I got abs, and yes there is no denying it—having abs is definitely cool and does feel amazing ... but did it make me happy? No, straight away I was onto the next thing—less fat on my hips and legs, then striations in my back, delts, and triceps. This went on until I was walking around at 6 percent body fat and literally pinching myself regularly to ensure that I wasn’t getting fat.
Everybody was telling me how great I looked and how far I had come, but I couldn’t see it. I focused on all of the “problem areas.” I would literally get stopped on the street, at parties, or in the gym by complete strangers and get complimented on my physique and asked what I do and if I had tips for them on how to train certain body parts.
You would think this would have had me feeling pretty content and pleased with myself, or at least satisfied that I had reached my initial goal of losing weight and getting ripped. However, the simple fact was that I had become so caught up in ticking off my next goal—getting that little bit leaner, lifting those few more pounds—that I had completely lost sight of how far I had come.
I would punish myself in the gym, eat as strictly as possible—I mean super strict, like eat boiled chicken and boiled sweet potato with no sauce or flavoring on my birthday type of strict—and while my dedication certainly produced the result I was chasing, I would only feel fulfilled for short periods of time, like after attaining a personal best in a workout, or noticing new muscle growth, etc.
All other times, which was about 90 percent of the time, it felt like I was constantly in a battle to get to the next level, the next goal, the next achievement. I had an incredible body capable of great things yet I really wasn’t comfortable in it and definitely didn’t appreciate how lucky I was. I realized there must be more to life than this, I mean what happened to the idea I was fed that if I look a certain way that I would then be comfortable and happy in my body? And where was my marching band?
I needed to put things into perspective. If I was constantly striving for the next goal and not stopping to appreciate my efforts, then I would never be fulfilled no matter how much I achieved because it would always be a case of “What’s next?” I also needed to realize that by achieving things or looking a certain way I was never going to gain value nor would these things make me happy.
Learning to Appreciate
One day when complaining in frustration that I wasn’t lean/strong/good enough—whatever the flavor of the day happened to be—a good friend and mentor of mine set me straight. He said, “Have a listen to yourself! Only a few short years ago you were a fat guy who couldn’t run to save himself and now you have the best body out of anyone I know, and all you can do is complain about it!”
This hit me like a ton of bricks.
He then went on to explain his philosophy of living life with an “attitude of gratitude.” He explained that if I where to live my life with gratitude for where I had come from and genuinely accept the present moment—no matter what the circumstance—then I could make instant peace with my insatiable need to progress and maybe even learn to appreciate my journey thus far.
I went home and begrudgingly began to write up a “gratitude list.” At first I was skeptical and thought “As if this is gonna do anything, what a joke etc.”
At first it was slow going, but within minutes I had easily filled a page and the list kept growing until I was faced with a never-ending list that made it glaringly obvious that not only was my life pretty amazing, but I had actually achieved a whole lot in quite a short time period and that I had very little to complain about.
The main reason I bring this up is because I often have clients who are constantly making real changes in their lives—dropping loads of body fat, smashing fitness and health goals, literally living in bodies that they only ever dreamed of previously, yet when I suggest that they should be really proud of their achievements I am often met with a long list of “yeah buts.”
“Yeah, but I’ll be happy once I lose this last little bit” or “Yeah, but I’ll never have legs like Sally.”
Yeah? Well I’m here to tell you that everything you say after the word “but” is nonsense!
Don’t get me wrong, I am totally for setting goals (lofty goals even) and then doing your very best to achieve those goals. However, sometimes we must all take stock and remember that health, fitness, and being comfortable in our bodies is a journey and not a destination.
Too often I see people realize that reaching the external or aesthetic physique/fitness goal doesn’t bring them the self-confidence, happiness, or fulfillment they had expected. Many then feel disappointed and give up, often returning to being overweight and unhappier. Or, like in my case, set a bigger goal under the impression that this bigger, brighter goal will surely deliver satisfaction.
It wasn’t until I took the time to reflect on my journey that I realized that it wasn’t “having abs” or achieving that “next little bit” that would make me content or confident, etc. Instead, it was the self-discipline, hard work, and persistence it took to get there that made me that much stronger, confident, and produced an unbeatable and lasting sense of achievement.
I can now honestly say that whether I am sitting at 5 percent or 15 percent body fat, I am truly comfortable with my body, and I cannot describe just how incredible that feeling is. I believe this is a feeling nobody should have to live without.
If you have a goal to lose 20 pounds/get a flat tummy or simply lose that last little bit then go out and make that dream a reality!
Just make sure that you enjoy the process and support yourself through each step of the journey. On the day you realize that you have reached your goal, take a moment to reflect on how far you have come and reward yourself for all your hard work. And then continue on your journey to living your best life in your ultimate body.
Fusing the latest in sports, performance, and weight loss nutrition with holistic wellness practices, while cultivating true emotional and lifestyle balance, Anthony and his team at PURE and LEAN Nutrition System transform the bodies, minds, and lives of everyday people all over the world. www.facebook.com/pureandlean
