If you’re familiar with that ubiquitous Marianne Williamson quotation (“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure …”), you might also have come across its slightly more reserved cousin: “If someone talked to you the way you talk to yourself, you would have kicked them out of your life a long time ago.”
The irony of those feel-good sayings, which can be found on many a Facebook wall, Twitter bio, and Pinterest board, is that people who believe that they deserve validation are likely already on the right track. (Much quieter are people whose insides shrivel at the thought of laying any claim to Williamson’s “power beyond measure,” or even basic kindness—not necessarily out of cynicism, but due to a single-minded conviction in their own worthlessness.)
As journalist Anneli Rufus sees it, the self-hating person inhabits a world of muted despair that prevents him or her from ever feeling at ease in the world. In Unworthy: How to Stop Hating Yourself, Rufus mines the intractable, negative perceptions that she and others have held about themselves, and analyzes the emergence of self-esteem as a goal that feels unattainable for many people.
This article was published on www.theatlantic.com. Read the complete article here.
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*Image of “love“ via Shutterstock
