Hosting doesn’t need to be a fancy affair to touch the hearts of others.
Ah, summer! The smell of hot dogs roasting, the sight of smiles as people greet each other, and the sound of laughter drifting over the fence all evoke classic Americana: community and connection in action.
It’s easy to be intimidated by the idea that we must pull out all the stops to host others. But entertaining doesn’t have to be a grand affair. Etiquette instructor Bethany Friske wants to “encourage people to open up their homes, and not be scared of it,” she said. She advises a mindset switch: Our main motive in exercising hospitality should be “to bless others.” She shared her best advice for making it happen.
Make Others Feel Special
We shouldn’t apologize for the wear and tear of our homes, Friske says, but we should tidy them up out of respect for our guests. Little touches like pretty napkins or plates and cups sitting out in advance show guests you were thinking of them. She’s also seen how impromptu invites—such as making a Crock-Pot meal and then asking someone at church to a last-minute Sunday dinner—touch people with kindness.Keep It Simple
When it comes to the menu, “don’t stress,” Friske said. “Pick something simple. It can be easy: popcorn and nuts, or just coffee and tea.” Inviting guests to bring a food item based on a fun theme—try blueberry, lemon, or red-white-and-blue—can also ease the host’s prep time, while creating a memorable connection point for guests.Lean on a Conversation Helper
For some, conversing with guests is more of a hurdle than actually hosting them. “If you’re not a good conversationalist and you’re having one person over, invite a second person, because that will often make things a little easier,” Friske suggested. She likes to keep a pack of conversation cards nearby for topic ideas, a gesture that can also help set more introverted guests at ease.Cultivate Connection
An overlooked benefit of hospitality is its ability to help your guests expand their own social circles. Friske happily recalled a gathering she hosted during which two neighbors met and became very good friends, becoming “way closer than I was with either of them,” she said. Make the effort to introduce your guests to each other, and tell them about their commonalities—such as a shared interest in gardening, or even having the same number of children—to kick-start a conversation.Think Outside the House
While hosting in your home is ideal, Friske says that entertaining elsewhere is a perfectly reasonable option if your home can’t accommodate many people. She suggests finding a nice park, a room at a library, or a space at a coffee shop. Don’t worry about such a move being a cop-out, she said: “You’re the one who’s heading it up; you’re taking the initiative.”
