Parents often ask me for advice in managing their children’s use of technology, usually the amount of time the child uses it, or the kind of tech the child is using.
I suggest they set limits and guidelines for incorporating those limits. The parent then says something like, “But if I do what you’re suggesting, I’m going to be yelled at or hated by my kid; it’s going to cause a huge problem.”
I usually smile and say yes.
This seems to confuse the parent, as if they want a solution that doesn’t create disagreement—a policy that’s easy to implement. I then deliver the following, sometimes surprising news alert: “As a parent, you’re not supposed to be your child’s friend.”
We’re living in a time when parents are supposed to be our children’s best friends—and parents.Moms and dads hang out with their kids as if they’re hanging out with peers. When there’s a disagreement, parents believe we’re supposed to negotiate with our kids as if we’re negotiating with equals. Parents of 7-year-olds report to me (with a straight face) all the reasons their child doesn’t agree with their decisions regarding the child’s behavior.
