I’ve come to realize, more and more, that I’m always rushing.
I dash from one task to the next, race through meals and speed-read books and articles. I’m always anxious to get a task or project finished. I’ve also noticed an impatience to get through my daily meditation.
When I write these articles, they are as much a reminder to myself as they are a suggestion to others. I’ve found that these ideas work, but that doesn’t mean I always remember to practice them. Writing about them doesn’t mean I’m perfect, by any means.
So, back to the problem: Why do I hurry so much? I’ve been reflecting on this, and the answer seems to be that my mind has a tendency toward greed. It’s not greed in the sense that I want a lot of wealth, but that when my mind finds something it likes, it wants more. Always more.
Here are some examples of greed I’ve noticed in myself:
I rush around, trying to fit it all in, trying to get everything possible out of life. This comes from a good heart—I appreciate the briefness of life and its brilliance, and the short time I have here. It’s not a bad thing to want more out of life. But what is the result of always wanting more, always wanting to maximize? It’s never having enough, never being satisfied, and never stopping to enjoy and appreciate.
Indulging in this greediness for more, this maximizing, doesn’t satisfy it. It just creates more wanting. Indulging isn’t helpful. What is helpful is staying with the feeling of wanting more, wanting to do it all—and consciously resisting it.
The Practice of Generosity
Whenever there’s a tendency toward greed, counter it with generosity. What does generosity have to do with rushing? Some of us might think generosity means giving money or possessions to people who need them, but that’s just one sense of generosity.Generosity is shown when we turn away from our self-centered view and start turning toward others. It could be as simple as giving another person in our life our full attention and trying to see what they need—rather than focusing on what we want to get out of life. Really trying to be present, with an open heart, and trying to understand and hear another person—that is the spirit of generosity.
When doing something alone, the spirit of generosity can be turned to at each moment so that you give that task the full gift of your attention, seeing it fully and opening your heart to it. This is a salve to the usual spirit of needing more, more, more and wanting to satisfy me, me, me.
I’m trying to practice the spirit of generosity whenever I notice my greedy mind wanting more, wanting everything. Instead, I turn to this moment, this person, or this activity, and give it the loving gift of my wholehearted attention.
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