They say that “comparison is the thief of joy.” This quote has been attributed to many people, including President Theodore Roosevelt and author and scholar C.S. Lewis. It seems to ring true, doesn’t it?
Comparison Trap
We humans tend to compare ourselves to each other all the time. Have you ever caught up with an old friend and felt a little uneasy after learning how well they’re doing financially, how impressive their home is, or how young and thin they look? Have you ever found yourself feeling a bit proud after reuniting with someone you perceive to be a bit behind you in terms of their success in life? We may not want to admit having experienced either scenario.Social media has, obviously, exacerbated this phenomenon. We take in other people’s “highlight reels,” as they say, and often feel bad about not being as successful, happy, accomplished, famous, fit, adored, or as productive as those we scroll by. We are constantly comparing ourselves to others and other ideals.
While all of this comparison seems to have a negative impact on self-esteem and general happiness, perhaps the act of comparing isn’t the root cause of our dismay. After all, if comparison can help you see areas in which you can improve, or can inspire you to reach for higher aims than you previously believed you could, then comparison becomes a good thing, doesn’t it?
Root of Jealousy
What’s truly a thief of joy is the sense of competition or resentment you might feel when comparing yourself to others. That uneasy feeling you sense when you see someone else doing well is jealousy. When you wish you were doing better than someone else or even wish someone else was doing worse than you (which isn’t the same thing), you are harboring jealousy, and that is sure to steal away your joy.Jealousy is, of course, very common but worth ridding yourself of to the greatest extent possible. It’s like a poison that harms only yourself. To be free of it is to find true joy and a sense of peace.
If you feel that you struggle with jealousy, practice reframing the way you interpret your perception of the gains and losses of the people in your life (or those you see on the internet, for that matter). The next time you sense that uneasy feeling, see if you can’t adjust your thoughts to be inspired instead. When others are succeeding in one way or another, in a way you wish you were, try to be happy for them and thankful for showing you what’s possible. Recognize that your uneasy feeling may be pointing you to an area of your life that you truly wish to improve. Furthermore, aim to be happy for others, cheer other people on, and wish wholeheartedly for others’ success, happiness, and fulfillment. You’ll find that your joy hasn’t gone anywhere.
Choosing Compassion
The opposite of jealousy is compassion. The two sentiments are incompatible. Compassion is something you can foster in yourself over time. Think of others not as people you’re competing with in life but as fellow souls you’re sharing this journey on Earth with. Everyone in life experiences tribulation and suffering. To see one another as an enemy breeds jealousy. To see one another as a brother or sister, be able to put down selfishness, and consider others even ahead of yourself is compassion.Comparison can be helpful in life, sometimes. It isn’t necessarily the thief of joy. Jealousy, though, surely is. Feeling genuinely happy for the good fortunes of others is joyful indeed.
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