Mr. Manners: Etiquette Rules Every Gentleman Should Know

Being a gentleman is about an inherent thoughtfulness and respect for others. (RetroClipArt/Shutterstock)

As Theodore Roosevelt wisely said, “Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage.”

Being a gentleman goes beyond knowing the rules; it’s about an inherent thoughtfulness and respect for others, particularly women.

‘Thank You, Kind Sir’

Chivalry isn’t sexist, nor is it dead. Open the door for your lady (in fact, you should do this regardless of gender), pull out her chair at a restaurant, help her with her bags, and walk on the street side of the sidewalk to ensure that she doesn’t get splashed by passing cars.

The one exception to “ladies first” is when hailing a cab. In that case, you should get in first to save her from wrinkling her clothes as she scoots across a potentially dirty seat.

Looking the Part

As the old adage goes, “Clothes make the man.”

This doesn’t require a huge wardrobe. A quality suit, dress shirt, and tie can be dressed up or down as an occasion warrants, making this an excellent start. The suit should fit well and complement your hair and skin tone. Navy, charcoal gray, and black are safe suit color choices. A matching belt and polished dress shoes round out the look.

Don’t forget hygiene; a gentleman is well-groomed at all times.

Lastly, master a firm handshake, with good eye contact as your final accessory.

Social Situations

A gentleman always RSVPs with a firm “yes” or “no.” He also knows to never show up empty-handed. Whether it’s a formal dinner or backyard BBQ, alcohol, flowers, or chocolates are always welcome.

At a restaurant, he offers to pick up the check, but is gracious if his friend, colleague, or date insists on paying.

When on a date, he doesn’t look at other women, even if they’re doing cartwheels across the restaurant (OK, maybe in that particular situation he might). He always sees his lady safely home after a date, as this isn’t old-fashioned, but rather courteous behavior.

Business Situations

Nice guys don’t finish last. A gentleman understands that a conservative approach allows others to be heard, which will often make them think well of him. It also prevents a gentleman from rushing into a potential disaster. In other words, a gentleman will listen first, then speak. This also makes others more likely to listen intently when he does state his side of the matter.

A gentleman never swears, even if the other party does, nor does he raise his voice or make negative comments about anything, even the weather. After the initial handshake, there should be no touching, especially across genders.

Time With the Guys

Proper etiquette may not seem warranted when your friends have their feet up on your coffee table—yet again—but at the very least, you should set a good example.

Be punctual; your buds may be forgiving, but being late is disrespectful. Likewise, always pay your fair share; even if they don’t complain, no one likes a mooch.

If a friend tells you great news, don’t post congratulations online before they’ve posted it, in order to avoid stealing their thunder.

And remember this golden rule: If a friend is moving, it’s your job to help and theirs to supply the pizza and drinks.