Memorable Gatherings: How to Be the Best Host

A good hostess starts the guests' experience off on the right foot by greeting them at the door with a welcome and a smile. (Fei Meng)

What stands out at the best events you’ve attended, be they dinner parties or backyard barbecues? It’s the ambience, the conversation, the connection, and the fun. When it comes to being a fabulous hostess, it’s about much more than simply food.

Socialization Savvy

The first rule of being the best host or hostess you can be is simple: Be there. Plan the event so that you aren’t chained to the stove. If you have to be in the kitchen, and the space is large enough, have the pre-party there.

Ideally, greet guests when they arrive and hand them a signature cocktail—with a nonalcoholic option also available—to wet their whistle and encourage party chatter. Go beyond “make yourself at home” and give them a tour of the house—“the appetizers are in the living room, here’s the bathroom, the guys are out back at the grill,” etc. Lead them to a group and get a genial conversation started before you have to head off to greet the next guest.

Don’t just invite the same old crowd; add some new faces to spice up the room. Be sure to include some pertinent info when introducing them around—interests and hobbies are always safe—to get things rolling.

At the end, escort each guest out and thank them for coming, even if they’ve been coming to your house for years.

Whether indoors or outside, afternoon or evening, candles are an inexpensive way to add ambience and elegance. (Bodor Tivadar/Shutterstock)

Scent and Lighting

Make your guests comfortable with a welcoming, convivial, and relaxing atmosphere.

Whether indoors or outside, afternoon or evening, candles are an inexpensive way to add ambience and elegance. Many people will tell you that they have to be unscented, but that’s not true; the key is to not use overpowering fragrances, as our sense of taste is closely linked to our sense of smell. Citrus, cedar, and grassy scents work well.

Got dimmer switches? Use them! Entertaining outdoors? Hang strings of patio lights with old-fashioned (even if they’re LED) bulbs or twinkle lights to instantly take a backyard from boring to breathtaking.

Flower Power

A floral centerpiece makes the table. Small plants (succulents are great) in a tiny container at each table setting are another option; they add a gentle ambience and make great take-home gifts.

If you’re going with flowers (the more common option), buy what’s in season; your guests won’t know the difference, but your wallet will. Cut the stems at a 45-degree angle and remove any leaves in the water to make the flowers last longer. If you’re having two events, rearrange the first arrangement or scale it back for the second dinner party.

Another option is to use a flowering plant in a decorative container so you get a bonus houseplant.

Cut Yourself Some Slack

Save the dirty dishes for later. Stepping away from the party to wash dishes reduces your fabulous dinner affair to “just another meal.”

Plan ahead by emptying the dishwasher and sink beforehand. That gives you—or the guests, if they want to bring their plate into the kitchen themselves—a dedicated place to put things to deal with after the guests have gone. If you’re using your fine china and good silver, you may want to fill a cooler with soapy water so they can soak after use, making hand-washing them easier.

Financial Solutions

Inviting friends over doesn’t mean you have to take out a second mortgage. Potlucks take the financial burden (not to mention a significant amount of time and effort) off the shoulders of the host. Having a signature cocktail and some nonalcoholic soft drinks instead of a bar is another big money-saver, as is making the party BYOB (bring your own bottle).

Or, instead of hosting a full dinner, consider hosting a brunch, a build-your-own-sandwiches lunch, a wine and cheese event, or perhaps a decadent dessert-only theme. You’re limited only by your imagination.