A father’s message about not helping his wife has gone viral for all the right reasons. In an emotional write-up posted online, he perfectly explains the true meaning of partnership, and why in his view, the word “help” isn’t the correct one to use.
The anonymous man recalls a visit he had with a friend. As they were sitting, chatting, and catching up, he excused himself while cleaning up a few dishes. To which his friend looked at him as if the man “was going to build a space rocket,” he wrote. Still amazed, his friend said, “I’m glad you help your wife, I do not help because when I do, my wife does not praise me. Last week I washed the floor and no thanks.”
Upon hearing that, the author decided to sit back down and have a word with his house guest. In the man’s view, he wasn’t his wife’s helper but an equal partner. “I am a partner at home and through that society are divided functions, but it is not a ‘help’ to do household chores,” the post reads.
For him, everyday chores are done by those living in a household because they need doing. And it’s not one person’s sole job. He cites several poignant examples of why doing chores also benefits him. “I do not help my wife wash the dishes after eating because I also use those dishes,” and “I do not help my wife to wash, spread or fold clothes, because the clothes are also mine and my children,” he writes.
As for his friend’s need to be profusely thanked for occasionally contributing, the author went on to ask him when it was the last time he expressed gratitude to his wife for her daily work, and blamed “macho culture” for his guest’s belief that housework is exclusively a woman’s job when, in fact, he sees it as a joint effort for couples.
To wrap it up, the father has a thoughtful piece of advice for other men: “Give her a hand, behave like a true companion, not as a guest.”
“The real change of our society begins in our homes, let us teach our sons and daughters the real sense of fellowship!” he concluded his viral post.
The post by an unknown author was initially posted by influencer and mother of four Tony Hatinger, along with a picture of her husband doing the dishes. John Hoxie then reposted the same touching letter. It completely took the internet by storm. Between both persons who posted it, it was shared over 1 million times.
Several thousand Facebook users commended the dad’s excellent view of household chores. One comment read, “Awesome thinking.”
While another exclaimed, “It used to irritate the hell out of me when people said the dad was ‘babysitting’ the kids if mom was out somewhere without them. A dad doesn’t babysit his own kids.”
And one Facebook user poignantly noted that “it’s a Partnership. Best role model to teach your children. Children do what you do … not what you say.”