Get a Grip: How to Give a Perfect Handshake

A confident, friendly handshake gives a great first impression. (G-Stock Studio/Shutterstock)

There are several examples of things universally understood, regardless of language barriers. They include smiles, frowns, and handshakes.

Step Up

Unless there are health issues keeping you seated, stand up and confidently approach the other person to shake hands. Make eye contact, smile, firmly grasp their proffered hand, and pump it up and down twice before releasing it. If appropriate, tell them it’s nice to meet them, before stepping away to let them get back to whatever they were doing.

Don’t interrupt anyone deep in conversation or otherwise clearly occupied, such as a hostess putting last-minute touches on a menu item. There are no circumstances under which it’s appropriate to try and force a handshake.

Don’t Crush Them

A firm, dry handshake conveys power, respect, and confidence. But don’t try to show off and overdo it, as that’s off-putting to the other person. A firm yet not squeezing grip is appropriate for most, though dial it down if you’re shaking hands with an elderly or frail person. But be aware that a limp handshake is as bad as being overly firm.

A damp handshake is also never a good thing; it’s unpleasant for the other person, giving them a negative impression of you. If your hand is clammy, dry it by discreetly wiping it with a napkin just before you extend your hand.

Use Your Correct Hand

Use your right hand to shake the other person’s right hand, unless you notice an indication that their right hand is injured, or they are holding a drink in their right hand and there’s no place they can set the drink down. However, if they initiate the handshake by extending their left hand, use your left hand as well.

Exceptions include a person who may extend a cupped hand for a “half hand” shake, in which just your fingers make gentle contact with their fingers. This is the equivalent of an air kiss, so smile and return the shake.

Smile and Greet

A smile makes you appear friendly, which can be reassuring and relaxing to the other person. Use their name in the brief time you’re connecting—though perhaps not so obvious as “I’m so glad to meet you, Mr. Joe Smedly.” By using their name, it lets them know you were paying attention when introduced, and establishes a bit of a relationship, albeit it very casual.

When you’re leaving, or if you see them leaving before you make your exit, extend your hand again, make eye contact, and say something succinct, such as, “It was a pleasure meeting you, Joe.”

Be Appropriate

Some cultures don’t shake hands. In others, men don’t shake hands with women. You need to be aware so as to not force a handshake on someone who doesn’t expect or want one. In some countries, those who are younger and less prestigious shouldn’t initiate a handshake, so do your research.

In others, handshakes are warmly received, as in Mexico, where a firm handshake may last a bit longer than expected and could be accompanied by a hug. In very casual scenarios, a fist bump may be an acceptable alternative, but hang back a bit to see if others are doing this—you don’t want to be the pioneer!