How Travis Mills survived is nothing short of a miracle. It was April 10, 2012. The Army Staff Sergeant of the 82nd Airborne was on his third deployment to Afghanistan. One false move. One IED. Four lost limbs.
Mr. Mills and his team at the Travis Mills Foundation interviewed approximately 40 people. They combed through medical and research papers in search of stories of how everyday people―those who had also suffered, struggled, and came out stronger―rediscovered their purpose in life. “I wanted to be relatable to everyone. I wanted people to know that what they are going through is valid and that their fears or challenges are real and there is a way to get around them,” Mr. Mills said.
The Power of Acceptance
Struggling well is exactly what Mr. Mills accomplished. He persevered during his struggle to stay alive, which included a 14-hour initial surgery where doctors and nurses gave not only their effort and skill, but their blood too, after the blood bank ran dry. The 6-foot 3-inch 250-pound soldier lost 110 pounds in seven days, not to mention his limbs. In those following days, weeks, and months, Mr. Mills questioned less about how he was still alive and more about why he was still alive. His life in a moment had literally and figuratively been torn apart. “I went from having arms and legs to having people spoon-feed me and change my clothes for me. Things like that where it was, in my opinion, embarrassing,” he said. “I was laying there thinking why did I even live through this? This is stupid. I have nothing left to give. I’m going to be a burden on everybody. I’ve never felt so helpless.”
Acceptance is one of the 12 principles he outlines. This is not an acceptance that leads to wallowing in self-pity, but an acceptance that leads to resiliency and newfound purpose. Of his 12 principles, Mills admits that this one was one of the most difficult for him, but arguably the most important. It took him six months to accept his life would never be the same again. “I had to realize that no matter how many times I asked why this happened, what could I have done different, there’s nothing that’s going to have an answer for me that makes it better,” he said. “I can still feel bad about it. I can still be upset that it happened. But the fact that there’s no reason to question it anymore because you’re never going to find the answer, really helped me.”
Finding Purpose Through Community
From the doctors and nurses at the start, to his wife and children in the immediate aftermath, to his friends and supporters along the way, Mr. Mills learned, and now teaches, that community is an absolute necessity. Part of that community, perhaps even the most influential, may come from unexpected places. For Mr. Mills, it came from his young daughter, Chloe, who was six months old when he got injured.
“I tell people, there’s no way I’m this way without my daughter. She was learning to walk and I was learning to walk. Not to put it all on her shoulders, but she was my driving force,” he said. “I was never going to let her see me fail. I let her see me fall down, but I would get back up. I was always going to make sure she knew that no matter what she wanted in life, she could do. The same goes for my son, Dax [named after the two medics Daniel and Alexander who saved his life].”
Mr. Mills credits his community of friends and family for helping him persevere and, as he states, struggle well. A major contributor to Mr. Mills’s incredible positivity and changed mindset was his experience during a camp retreat connected with the Walter Reed National Military Medical Center. The quadruple amputee engaged in downhill mountain biking, kayaking, horseback riding, and other activities. It was a lightbulb moment when he realized that using his prosthetics, he could still do much of what he used to. This encouraged him to offer the same opportunities for other injured veterans.
He and his wife, Kelsey, first started the Travis Mills Foundation with preparing care packages for veterans. When the Mills moved to Maine, they decided to rent a camp, invite some veterans and their families, and create activities similar to what he had experienced at Walter Reed. This relatively impromptu retreat was such a success, they hosted the camp again the following year.
The Guiding Lights
Direction is the operative word. Mr. Mills notices that many people who have suffered traumatic injuries, tragic losses, or intense hardships often become their own most obstinate obstacle. “I think people hold themselves back a lot. A lot of people get in their own way. I think people just get stuck, and some feel they have to stay stuck, but they don’t,” Mr. Mills said. “You can do better. You can change.”As Mr. Mills’s book suggests, regardless of the circumstances, one can “bounce back.” For those looking for a light at the end of their tunnel, Mr. Mills has poked 12 holes into the darkness. If Mr. Mills has taught the world anything, it’s that anyone can overcome their struggles.
