In 1950, dinner and a movie for two cost only $8.42. Today, that same classic date can easily set you back $80 or more. And with inflation continuing to balloon, that number just keeps rising: From 2023 to 2024, the cost of restaurant meals spiked 4.1 percent.
But this doesn’t mean we have to kiss romance goodbye. Going out isn’t the only way to have a memorable date. A beautiful evening can be homemade, crafted by a little thoughtfulness and creativity into something just as enjoyable as a reservation at a nice restaurant—minus the bill that spikes your blood pressure. Plus, the work of making an enjoyable experience together, through your own efforts, might help you bond even more than purchasing something ready-made.
Here are some ideas to get you started.
Set the Mood
Part of the purpose of a date is to step outside the workaday routine, the everyday atmosphere, for a precious slice of time. That’s one reason people often want to go out: They want a change of scenery and to get away from the work and stress sometimes represented by home. But another way to achieve the same thing is to alter the way the home looks, even if only a little bit.Make the familiar unfamiliar. Consider turning off the overhead and using candles or string lights. Covering the table in a tablecloth and china will transform its appearance. Playing vintage jazz (preferably on a record player) or some other favorite background music helps complete the atmosphere.
Silence the Phones
The aim of the date is to prioritize your beloved over everything else—which includes texts, calls, and social media notifications. Sociologist and MIT professor Sherry Turkle has found that the mere presence of a phone during a face-to-face conversation tends to diminish the quality of that conversation. Citing a study on the effects of phones on conversation, Turkle said in an interview, “If you put a cellphone into a social interaction, it does two things: First, it decreases the quality of what you talk about, because you talk about things where you wouldn’t mind being interrupted, which makes sense, and secondly, it decreases the empathic connection that people feel toward each other.”Needless to say, that’s the opposite of what you want during a date. So set the phones aside, just for a while.
Treat the Meal With Intentionality
Preparing and consuming food with other people is a time-hallowed tradition. In human civilization, sharing food isn’t just about sustaining the body; it’s a quasi-sacred act aimed at sustaining human connection, celebrating important moments, and building culture. It’s a sign of peace and unity.In the context of a marriage, the sharing of a common table goes hand-in-hand with sharing a bed and is an important symbol of a shared life. Cooking together, then, constitutes a common effort to produce the unifying reality of enjoying a meal together. In a microcosm of a marriage, each spouse works to contribute something to the overall meal, for the common good of the spouses.
On top of all that, cooking together can be a lot of fun—especially if you try a new recipe and work together to figure it out. Kitchen mishaps can be a source of more bonding as the couple laughs over any mistakes.
Wear Your Nicest Clothes
Dressing up and transforming your home with lighting and beautiful details can make a date feel like a special occasion. Biba Kajevich. This digital illustration was drawn by hand, not with artificial intelligence.
The best of your closet doesn’t have to be reserved for fancy restaurants or parties. Dressing up at home is not only fun, it also shows respect for your husband or wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend. After all, he or she is the person you’re trying to impress the most, so it’s worth putting in extra effort, even if they’re the only one who will see you. Those eyes matter more than any others. (But, maybe wait until the cooking is done!)
Choose Active Rather Than Passive Entertainment
Love deepens knowledge, and knowledge deepens love. If the purpose of a date is to get to know your loved one better—and this is always possible, even after decades of marriage—then why sit passively in front of a screen where your interaction with another will be minimal? Instead, consider creating your own entertainment, something active that involves interaction, conversation, and laughter. There are loads of ways to do this, and plenty of lists of ideas available online and in books to get the wheels turning. Here are just a few:- Play a game. A bit of friendly competition can enliven your relationship and mix up your routine.
- Ask each other questions. We have compiled two lists of questions to spark deep conversation.
- Plan and dream about the future. Talk about your vision for your future life together. Nothing brings you closer than a shared goal or dream.
- Make cocktails or have an at-home wine tasting. The experience of a winery or a cocktail bar can easily be replicated at home, and the couple can share observations about the success (or lack thereof) of their creations.
- Stargaze. Victor Hugo wrote, “What Is Love? I have met in the streets a very poor young man who was in love. His hat was old, his coat worn, the water passed through his shoes and the stars through his soul.” There is a mysterious affinity between the stars and being in love. Both are beautiful, both mysterious, and both draw our gaze higher.
- Try a date-night subscription box. There are a number of subscription services that send you a box with a surprise date-night activity each month, such as Datebox Club.
- You can find more ideas here.
