Marriage lessons learned the hard way, including nuggets of wisdom from my third wife, also in her third marriage, this one lasting 25 years:
- In a “trial marriage,” the one on trial is the one who cares the most, and there is nothing right about that.
- Learning lessons the hard way can result in lifelong consequences; learning the easy way (heeding wisdom) can result in lifelong blessings.
- Give up bad habits/behavior.
- The one thing you will ever do perfectly in life is prove God right, one way or the other.
- Learn God’s ways and adopt them as your own; join a church and attend regularly.
- Keep God the mainstay of your marriage. Pray together often.
- Become friends with couples who strive to do things right.
- Consider your spousal partner before self in thought and deed.
- Grant each other veto power over major decisions—rarely, if ever, invoked. This will encourage effective communication and win-win compromise.
- Share your thoughts and feelings freely and honestly, but learn when to keep your mouth shut. Good timing saves bad.
- Forgive easily; never carry a grudge or weaponize past mistakes.
- Never let your spouse go to sleep at night without knowing he or she is genuinely loved.
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