Cooking Is Not Rocket Science

Just say ‘no’ to meal delivery services.
Cooking Is Not Rocket Science
Homemade fettucine alfredo comes with a side of accomplishment. (Fei Meng)
Randy Tatano
9/5/2023
Updated:
9/5/2023
0:00
I’ve always clipped coupons, so when I spotted one for a whopping 80 dollars off from a meal delivery service, it definitely got my attention.
Then it hit me. If the coupon was for that amount, how much was the food? I found it to be pretty pricey for stuff I could easily get at the grocery store.
Like most Italians, I love to cook. It’s relaxing, fun, and the rewards are off the charts. There’s nothing like eating something that’s as good or better than what you can get in a restaurant without leaving your house. You can create amazing things in the kitchen. The food is your signature.
Still, I’ve noticed the recent popularity of meal delivery services. I get it: Many people don’t have a lot of time, patience, or desire to cook. (Of course, if you’re using a meal delivery service, you’re still doing the cooking anyway.) But in this economy, it boggles the mind that people will pay a lot extra to basically have someone do the grocery shopping. Especially when I look at some of the menus. I spotted one with a photo of a hamburger. Seriously? You’re paying a premium to have ground beef shipped through the mail rather than spend five minutes in a grocery store? And these days, you can place a local grocery store order online, drive to the parking lot, and someone from the store will bring the food to your car.

Baby Steps

OK, enough with the lecture. Yes, cooking is not a science but an art. Not everyone can be a cordon bleu chef in the kitchen, but you can still turn out decent meals. Even if you’re one of those people who could burn a salad or think separating the eggs means moving them to the opposite ends of the counter. So let’s take some baby steps and teach you how to make something that sounds exotic but is really very simple.

Fettucini alfredo.

Already you’re thinking, “But that’s something I only get in a restaurant, so that must be really hard to make.”
Nope. Four ingredients and the fettucine. Cream, butter, cheese, and an egg. That’s it. One trip to the dairy section and a box of pasta on the way out. Five minutes.
Pour a small container of heavy cream into a saucepan with a half stick of butter. Once it gets hot (don’t let it boil), stir in a cup of grated parmesan cheese. Then separate an egg and whisk the yolk very quickly into the sauce. Turn off the stove and let it thicken. Boom. Done.
And there’s another difficult task to cook the fettucine … boiling water! Oh, the horror! Once the fettucine is done, drain the pasta and pour the sauce over it.
Want to take it to another level? Add shrimp. Or chicken. Want Cajun pasta? Add Cajun spices.
There, I just saved you 50 bucks.
Tips: 
Never, ever use margarine. Only real butter, and not some of those “butter spreads” that masquerade as butter.
You have three options for parmesan cheese. The best: Get a wedge and grate it yourself. Fresher with more of a kick to it. The two options for grated cheese in the store are with cellulose and without, so read the labels. Cellulose is a “clumping agent” that some companies add to the cheese. Cellulose is wood pulp. Do you want a side order of wood with your fettucine? I didn’t think so.
There is a product (usually in the dairy case) called fresh pasta. It cooks in two minutes. You read that right—two minutes. And tastes way better than the stuff in a box.

Building Foundations

Now, a benefit for those of you with children.
I was visiting relatives, and my 10-year-old niece asked me to make her a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I led her to the kitchen. “Time for you to learn a life skill. Put two pieces of bread on a plate, then spread a little peanut butter on each side.”
“Why each side?”
“It will keep the jelly from soaking the bread. Now spread the jelly on one side, put the two slices together, and cut it in half.”
She did so and took a bite. 
“Is it good?”
“Yeah. Still better when you make it.”
Okay, that’s Learning to Feed Yourself 101, but you get the idea. Get your kids started early on learning to cook, and it will take some of your duties off your plate. (Little kitchen metaphor there.)
And don’t look at grocery shopping as a chore. It should be enjoyable because you’re going to do something for yourself and your family. And it’s got a bit of treasure hunting in the process as well. I love a trip to the grocery store. What’s on sale this week? What looks really good in the produce section? Let’s ask the butcher to grind some fresh ground beef. Meanwhile, does your town have a farmers market? You’ll find great buys and some of the best local produce that hasn’t been trucked across the country.
Bottom line, meal delivery services are nothing more than a personal shopper in the grocery store. You still have to cook. So why not start with ingredients you select while saving a small fortune in the process? And if you don’t have the time or energy to cook every day, make enough so you’ll have leftovers. Get the kids to help.
And when the kids are out of the nest, they’ll be excited to come back for real home cooking, not something out of a catalog.
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Randy Tatano is a former local television reporter and network producer who now writes political thrillers as Nick Harlow. He grew up in a New York City suburb and lives on the Gulf Coast with his wife and four cats.
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