15 Parenting Quotes for Those in the Thick of It

January 23, 2018 Updated: October 8, 2018

Parenting is a wild ride—a learn as you go, call ‘em like you see ‘em, on the job training situation. All parents can use a dose of inspiration or, perhaps even more,  a good laugh. Here are some quotes to satisfy both.

“Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; not I have six children and no theories.”

—John Wilmot, Earl of Roschester

“If you’ve never been hated by a child, you’ve never been a parent.”

—Bette Davis

“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”

—Benjamin Spock

“The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.”

—Lane Olinghouse

“A baby changes your dinner party conversation from politics to poops.”

—Maurice Johnston

“The biggest thing I remember is that there was just no transition. You hit the ground diapering.

—Paul Reiser

“Never do for a child what he is capable of doing for himself.”

—Elizabeth Hainstock

“Buying your kid a goldfish is a great way to teach them responsibility for 24-36 hours.”

—Conan O’Brien

“You know what it’s like having a fourth kid? Imagine you’re drowning, then someone hands you a baby.”

—Jim Gaffigan

“Children spell love… T-I-M-E.”

—Dr. A. Witham

“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”

—Milton Berle

“A 2-year-old is like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.”

—Jerry Seinfeld

“When a man dies, if he can pass enthusiasm along to his children, he has left them an estate of incalculable value.”

—Thomas Edison

“Your children will become what you are; so be what you want them to be.”

—David Bly

“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.”

—Theodore Hesburgh

“The family is one of nature’s masterpieces.”

—George Santayana

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