What’s Love Got to Do With It?

(Ben Coles/Unsplash)

Another February. Another Valentine’s Day.

Yes, there are other noteworthy events, such as the beginning of the Lunar New Year, whether the groundhog sees his shadow, or a celebration of past presidents. But for many of us, February is the month of romance.

Marketers have convinced us that receiving heart-shaped boxes of assorted chocolates, bouquets of roses, a Hallmark card, or a piece of jewelry signifies that we’re loved. If you’re without a significant other in your life, this day of all things celebrating romance may be one that you want to get through quickly.

Historically, we have St. Valentine to thank for this day that was passed down to us from centuries ago. There’s some dispute as to which Valentine or Valentinus from the Catholic Church archives is responsible for this lasting love legacy.

One performed marriages for young lovers in secret. Another was a bishop. And another Valentine attempted to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons. Legend has it that while he was himself imprisoned, he fell in love with a young girl who visited him, writing her a letter and signing it, “From Your Valentine.” Odds are good that this Valentine could be the one from which our present-day festivities originated. But the point is that all of these Valentines were godly and good men, and they were all martyred for their love and passion about ideals that they held sacred.

By the Middle Ages, Valentine was one of the most popular saints in England and France. And in the United States in 1840, thanks to one Esther A. Howland (known as the “Mother of Valentine”), mass-produced valentines were exchanged, many very elaborate with lace and ribbons.

I’ve been accused of looking at the world through rose-colored lenses. I tend to minimize the unpleasant and focus on the uplifting. I’ve always liked Valentine’s Day. My early memories do have a heart-shaped box of assorted chocolates—a larger one for my mother and a smaller one for me—brought home from a doting father. And roses. Yes, I’ve had dozens of bouquets, and I’ve never turned them away.

But underneath the surface of flowers, chocolates, and greeting cards, there’s an underlying theme. And love has much to do with it: love in marriage; love in courtship; love for parents; love for children; love manifested in hot pink balloons or a gentle holding of hands; love in the knowledge that life will be renewed spiritually.

There’s much to celebrate and an opportunity to dive deep, examine our beliefs, embrace flowers and faith, and come away smiling.

Attitude of Gratitude

I have a friend who’s a leadership and life coach. She begins many of her presentations by focusing on the theme of love. Oftentimes, she’s speaking to company presidents, heads of nonprofits, and business types in general. When you start talking about love in those settings, it can cause some squeamishness. Those kinds of meetings tend to be focused on goal setting, mission statements, strategies for success, and improving your managerial style. Love is more ethereal. Or is it?

Love has much to do with respect, trust, and coming from the heart. If your actions and words (whether at home or in the workplace) come from a good and sincerely positive and life-affirming place, chances are that your interactions will be enhanced for the better, rather than taking a negative turn.

Cultivating a generous and loving heart doesn’t always come naturally—it takes practice.

I have a red glass heart given to me by my daughter that sits on my nightstand. It serves as a daily reminder to be grateful. Before starting each day, I take a few minutes to be thankful, whether that’s for a cup of coffee waiting to be shared with my spouse in the living room, the shining sun, a nearly finished project, or a grandchild who’s coming to visit.

The list doesn’t have to be long or overly thought out. Just practice being thankful before you start each day—adopting a gratitude attitude—and over time, you’ll find that this habit of expressing appreciation for your life will have a calming and joyful effect. By going outside of yourself and looking at the bigger picture—a broader perspective—chances are that your blessings far outweigh your burdens.

Your happiness level will rise and, at the end of the day, you’ll be better positioned to bounce forward when challenges occur, as they always do. Being armed with loads of gratitude will make a powerful difference.

Aside from the obvious mental and emotional benefits, any interactions you have with others will benefit if you’re coming from a place of gratitude and love. In my mind, feeling and expressing gratitude for thoughtful deeds that happen in your life is a precursor to happiness. Celebrate not just those big moments in your life, but all the smaller ones as well.

Enjoy this month of romance brought to us through the ages from the courageous and loving acts of St. Valentine. I hope lots of flowers, balloons, chocolates, and greeting cards come your way. Perhaps a marriage proposal. Certainly, an investment in gratitude.

What’s love got to do with it?

Everything.