Sparks flew from tangled swords, synthesized trumpets blared, artificial smoke clung to the ground, strobe lights flashed, and the PA system magnified everything to the nth: Clearly this was Medieval Spain.
Even the mediocre food couldn’t dull my enthusiasm. I sat in the blue section, cheering for the blue Knight. “Chop off his ear” I cried out when our blue hero fought the yellow knight. He didn’t hear me. I was modelling appropriate behavior for the crowd of 10-year olds at a birthday party.
Disappointingly little blood was spilled, but our Roman coliseum instincts where roused. That is what makes Medieval Times good theatre that runs seven nights a week in some of the nine North American “castles.” It haliberds the guts out of television.
Last Saturday was my second visit to Medieval Times in Toronto. During my first, a number of quite passable actors filled the main speaking roles, which made the experience even more enjoyable. It was easier to suspend disbelief and give in.
The concept of a royal feast with knights competing on horseback is just as compelling now as it was a millennium ago. The games are real and challenging. The fight sequences and events that seem staged are a relief. I’d hate to see someone lose a digit or be gored with a lance while I’m eating. I’m not squeamish, I just had a really good seat.
The show is spectacular if you have ever even so much as tried to ride a horse. The Andalusian horses are impeccably trained to do nearly impossible things. Dressage is really the ultimate in animal-human communication and partnership. That said, training horses in Spanish dressage may have involved mandatory whip cracking and spurs in preceding centuries, but in 2011 we should know when it’s time to call in Temple Grandin and modernize.
There is also a falconer who does a demonstration that is hugely impressive for a ten-year-old. Keep your hands down.
Medieval music fans are in for disappointment, though. I hope in future the high standards set for fighting and horsemanship can be extended to the canned music. If the sound were actually “Moorish-Andalusian” and recorded with period instruments the entire production would seem less whitewashed, creating a more compelling illusion.
Somebody ought to do something about it. I would have protested right then and there but I was too full of overcooked meat and birthday cake to actually complain.
Try and understand. I’m both a peevish critic and a budding fan. It is a fabulous show for children at 5:00 p.m. and the best place to drink beer at 7:30 p.m.—ever. There are just enough medieval combat facts to make the modern historical fictions tolerable and just enough action to distract us from the taste of the food. Shakespeare knew what he was doing. We need the sword fights and quibbling in order to wash down our pseudo-history.
Getting yourself into the spirit is much more fun than it looks on the website. I was hoping a visit to Medieval Times might plant the love of live theatre into the hearts of the children who came. I wanted them to see real people and real action. Theatre is pre-television excitement and at Medieval Times there is no fourth wall. There is no audience. We are all guests of the king.
We had a great time. I will go again, but next time I will order the vegetarian meal. I have been personally informed, and online research has confirmed, that it is paradoxically excellent.
