Kids Need Questions

Kids Need Questions
(Catherine Delahaye/DigitalVision/Getty Images)
By Kathy Koch, Ph.D.
4/8/2022
Updated:
4/8/2022

The young boy had to know! He found a screwdriver in a toolbox, moved the microwave oven away from the wall, and began trying to take it apart. His mom entered the kitchen, and with alarm, shouted, “Stop! What do you think you’re doing?”

Her son innocently responded, “I need to know how the food gets hot when the microwave never gets hot. The stove gets hot, the oven gets hot, the toaster gets hot, and your coffeemaker gets hot. But the microwave never gets hot. I have to figure this out.”

Maybe the phrase “Curiosity killed the cat” comes to mind. Too much curiosity directed at the wrong thing can be a problem for people, too. You may even feel like you want to tie up your kids sometimes, especially if they have a propensity to get into things you told them not to.

Yes, they should experience consequences when they ignore your directives, but curiosity is a good thing also; Dr. Tom Armstrong has identified it as a genius quality. Geniuses across time and cultures exhibit this important investigative trait. Without it, many things wouldn’t have been invented and many problems wouldn’t have been solved. In Dr. Armstrong’s work with geniuses and schools, he defines curiosity as asking questions others may think are irrelevant.

Did I just describe your children? Do they constant ask, “What if?” and, “How come?” Even though this can be irritating at times, and frustrating when we don’t have answers, curiosity makes life more vibrant and you don’t want to squelch it. In fact, you should probably set it in motion.

One way to do this is by getting your children to think forward to what they could do this spring, and the possibilities ahead of them. Maybe you could spark their curiosity about their upcoming sports season, flying kites, or hiking. Have they thought about spending a Saturday at the zoo, taking their puppy to a new dog park, or the best place to plant tomatoes to grow a bigger crop than last year?

Curiosity pairs nicely with anticipation. When I send a gift to friends, I tell them to watch their mail; sometimes waiting for something makes the arrival of that thing more special—especially if there is a little mystery to what it may be. You can take advantage of this enticing combination of anticipation and curiosity by suggesting engaging possibilities for your children to consider, and then helping them to investigate those that pique their interest.

Have they ever made s’mores before? Maybe you can ask your children what they think they taste like, and plan for a fire in the backyard or recreational area to try making them. Or ask them which fish they think are in a nearby lake, and get them thinking about fishing off the pier.

Thinking about and experiencing the fun are perfect times to awaken and strengthen your children’s genius qualities. This process shows them that asking questions to learn about their world opens up new ways to engage with everything around them.

Sometimes this means being able to do new things. Sometimes it just means better understanding of the world around them and feeling more connected to it. Prompting curiosity is a great way to help children build this connection.

For example, research the subject of hibernation with your children. In addition to bears, which other animals hibernate? If they research whether hibernators don’t go to the bathroom for months, I guarantee you that they’ll discover their curiosity muscle!

Have some fun and talk with your children about the bear that wakes up from hibernation. What do you think it’s looking forward to exploring when it wakes up? And was it really sleeping? Is “wakes up” the correct phrase? Would it look first for other bears? Would it be curious about where to find its first food and what it will taste like?

What about the bird that flies north after spending the winter down south? Is it looking first for a safe nesting place, food for itself and its new family, or friends to be rediscovered? Is it true that birds often spend winter in the same southern place and then fly back to the same northern place in the spring? How do they do find these places again?

Talk about what your children are curious about. Suggest questions to get them started. What’s under the wet leaves that were under the snow for so much of the winter? How does snow form? How is it different from freezing rain? How can it be determined if the ice on the pond is strong enough to skate on?

More questions for them to think about: When was the bicycle invented? What’s the best bait for catching different fish? Grandma says she used to play four-square and hopscotch when she was their age; let’s find out about those games and see if we’d enjoy them. Which places nearby need volunteers this spring? Are there sports leagues we could help with? How can we share our love of flowers with others? Could we plan a really great Mother’s Day party for single moms at the church or community center?

Curiosity makes all of life more vivid. Curious children have their eyes and ears open to what’s happening. They pay attention, grow, and contribute to those around them. Curiosity also makes learning more likely and strengthens retention.

This spring, be curious. Connect through curiosity and let it drive your service. It will enhance everyone’s lives.

Dr. Kathy Koch (pronounced “cook”) is the founder of Celebrate Kids and cofounder of Ignite the Family, a faculty member at Summit Ministries, and the author of five books including “8 Great Smarts” and “Start With the Heart.” Dr. Koch holds a Ph.D. in reading and educational psychology from Purdue University.
 
Dr. Kathy Koch (“cook”) is the founder of Celebrate Kids and Ignite the Family, a faculty member at Summit Ministries, and the author of five books including “8 Great Smarts” and “Start with the Heart.” Dr. Koch earned a Ph.D. in reading and educational psychology from Purdue University.
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