How to Be a Good Grandparent

Use the tricks and techniques you used to raise your kids to help them raise theirs

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Parenthood can be a rollercoaster of emotions, from blissful happiness to abject horror, so when your children have children, your real-life experience can help them and your grandchildren get through the process with flying colors.

Be a Resource

Think back to when you had your children, and how you found someone who had already raised kids to provide advice, or a trusted babysitter so you could take a night off from parenting duties. Offer your services to your kids so they know they can call on you to watch your grandchildren while they have a date night or to assure them that all will be well when their kids develop a fever or the sniffles.

Be Switzerland

It’s only natural to want to take sides in a contentious issue, such as when the kids can begin dating, but you need to hold your emotions in check, letting the parents make their own decisions. A know-it-all attitude, even if you’re right, can wreak havoc on relationships. The goal is to be the person your grandkids and your kids rely upon for unbiased assistance when they need to settle an issue.

Raise Responsibility

Resist the urge to spoil your grandkids. Buying the little princess a pony for her 10th birthday or handing your grandson the keys to a Mustang on his 16th birthday is you showing off, not you helping them. Teach them to respect things and themselves by earning an allowance or getting a part-time job. Teach them to respect those around them, treat them with respect and kindness, and lend a helping hand to those in need.

Teach Them

As the children grow up, there may be times when, as a grandparent, you have a more open relationship with them than they have with their parents. This is common, especially during the traumatic teen years. It’s important that you work hard to maintain their trust by offering gentle guidance without lecturing, and being able to know when they need help but may be afraid to ask for it. Be their real-life guardian angel.

Be There

As you watch your grandchildren grow up, make sure they know that they have a special place in your life. While you certainly need to follow your own path and enjoy your pursuits, let the kids know that they’re more important than your job or planning your next trip to Paris. They need to feel comfortable coming to you for help with a decision or just to spend time with you on the porch sipping lemonade.