Holiday Gala Etiquette: ‘Tis the Season for Get-Togethers

Holiday parties are an ideal way to catch up with old friends and neighbors, but remember to mind your manners

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It’s that time of year again, so here are a few tips on being the favorite guest at any holiday gathering.

RSVP Is Not Optional

The best hosts will send printed invitations with preaddressed, stamped return envelopes four weeks in advance to allow guests plenty of time to add the party to their schedule. Other hosts may send invitations via email, text, or social media. Invitees need to respond within two days at the most in order for the hosts to know how many people will attend and have ample time to plan for food and drink accordingly.

Dress Right

If the invitation doesn’t specify a dress code, ask the host/hostess what they'd prefer you wear on the scale from business casual to Santa sweaters. Asking the other guests what they plan to wear is another option; if you both make the wrong wardrobe choices, at least you won’t be the only one who shows up in an aloha shirt. Whatever you decide, make sure it’s appropriate; don’t arrive in overly revealing outfits, even if you look great in them.

Pace the Fun

The entire idea of a party is to enjoy yourself among friends, so exercise moderation at the punch bowl or when enjoying other adult beverages. Overindulging usually doesn’t end well, so limit how much you “enjoy.” Also, keep an eye on other guests who may have had one too many; arranging a ride home for them is a must. Overdoing it applies to food, too, so don’t hog all the pigs in a blanket!

Be Helpful

The hosts will be very busy greeting arrivals, making sure a steady supply of food and drinks is flowing, and making introductions—so offer to help. Let the hosts direct you to tasks that need handling, or simply be aware of when you should step in, such as if a spill occurs or you see the trash can overflowing. After the party, offering to help clean up will make sure you’re on the guest list for future events.

Be Thoughtful

Everyone appreciates thoughtfulness, so ask the hosts if you can bring anything, be it food and drinks or extra chairs and tables. If you know the hosts well, offer to stay after the party to help wash dishes and take out the trash; these moments may be more fun than the actual party. No later than two days after the party, mail a handwritten thank-you note to the hosts; don’t be lazy and send a text or an email.