Etiquette 101: Nonverbal Cues and Unspoken Messages

Etiquette 101: Nonverbal Cues and Unspoken Messages
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Bill Lindsey
6/15/2023
Updated:
6/21/2023
We communicate with those around us in nonverbal ways just as loudly as we do with the spoken word. Being aware of what our body language is conveying can help prevent unintentionally awkward situations.

Sit Up Straight

Good parenting starts with good posture and teaching children to sit up straight. Slouching during an office meeting, while on a date, or at a friend’s home sends a silent yet clear signal that you are bored and indifferent to what is being discussed. You might be fascinated by the conversation and simply just tired, but the cues that your body gives are what matters.

Look Them in The Eye

Maintaining eye contact is a sure way to let the other person know that you are paying attention and interested in what they have to say. Active listening is a skill that applies to one-on-one encounters as well as group meetings. If you’re listening to a presentation and are close enough to make eye contact with the speaker, do so with a smile or nod to provide them with nonverbal encouragement and approval.

Hand Signals

Follow the example of effective public speakers, who use their hands to accentuate what they are saying, but in a way that avoids flailing them around. Learn some of Elon Musk’s techniques by watching how he uses his hands when speaking to an audience. When you are in the audience, resist the urge to put your hands in your pockets or cross your arms, as these gestures close you off to the speaker.

Watch How You Look

Facial expressions such as smiles or frowns can be a giveaway to true emotions. The danger is that our facial expressions may not accurately reflect our true feelings. If you are distracted by a text and frown upon reading it, the speaker may see this and assume that you are at odds with his or her message. If your “resting face” is anything other than neutral, prompt yourself to gently smile while conversing with others.

Walk the Walk

Every movement can send a nonverbal message; a steady, purposeful stride sends a signal of self-confidence. Look ahead as you walk rather than looking down at your phone, because the latter can lead to an accidental collision with another person or object such as furniture—which does not send a positive message. Look at the person whom you are approaching and use a friendly smile to communicate that you are looking forward to the conversation.
Bill Lindsey is an award-winning writer based in South Florida. He covers real estate, automobiles, timepieces, boats, and travel topics.
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