Healthy relationships can be the foundation of a fulfilling life.
Those are examples of agreeable drama.
There are also the less desirable kinds of drama such as big blowout fights over nothing important, losing your temper because your spouse is watching the TV too loud, bursting into tears over not having someone call back, or melting down on the way out the door because you hate your outfit.
The behavior that accompanies this type of drama is not good for anyone—not us, nor the person onto which we are projecting the drama. Somewhere along the way, things got wired wrong with respect to appropriate responses to our feelings.
Some may ask, “Isn’t it healthy to feel your feelings?”
The answer is “Yes,” but there is a caveat.
When we over-indulge in them, our feelings can be as bad as not feeling at all. This is the drama.
The scenario usually plays out along these lines: You feel hurt, angry, lonely, rejected, offended, or some type of personal reaction. You decide to respond to it at a Level 10, even if the situation may only require a Level 2. Yes, it is important to feel your feelings, but it’s also important not to be too extreme.
Action-Plan Tips
- Keep a journal or a file on your computer where you “dump” your initial reaction, and once the storm passes, check in again to see if there is more that still needs to be addressed.
- Go for a walk as a way to let off steam and reboot.
- Take a bath or shower to revitalize yourself and calm down.
- Make some tea before you decide to engage.