Why Men Should Dress Well

Dressing in a mature and respectable manner reinforces an identity of strength, capability, and confidence.

Dressing well has a far-reaching effect on both the man's self-perception and how others perceive him. As the proverb says, "The clothes make the man." Biba Kayewich

Many men are under the impression that putting thought into their appearance isn’t manly. But basic thoughtfulness about what you put on is actually quite masculine. It helps you fulfill your role as a man in society through its effect on your projection of maturity, leadership, and the ability to provide. Sure, it’s easier to throw on a faded T-shirt and some jeans than a button-down and a blazer. Yet the latter usually garners more positive results in how others perceive you, and how you perceive yourself. It better reflects your responsibilities and opportunities as a man.

Dressing well looks different in different situations, of course—you don’t need to get all gussied up every time you go to the store. But even in the most casual of scenarios, there are ways to dress sloppily and there are ways to dress well. It makes a difference for you and for others. Let’s look at some aspects of masculinity and how good style can support it.

Maturity

Biba Kayewich

We live in a culture that relentlessly pushes men to behave like perpetual adolescents. Culture tells young men:

“Don’t take on responsibility, let someone else do it.”

“Don’t try to advance in your career or be a strong leader because that’s toxic masculinity.”

“Don’t sacrifice yourself for a greater cause, just focus on yourself and your own needs.”

“Have a good time and enjoy yourself—there’s plenty of time for building a family and career later.”

“Nothing is really worth getting out of your comfort zone for.”

All of these statements embody the mentality of a child because the fundamental difference between an adult and a child is that, in assuming responsibility, an adult contributes to society, while a child, because of their complete dependence, only takes from society. Men who are encouraged to keep taking from society, family, their girlfriends or wives, and the like, rather than giving and building up, are therefore behaving like children.

Psychologist Jordan Peterson points out that the trend of adults dressing like children stems from a mindset that rejects traditional standards of behavior, including adult responsibility, in favor of unlimited “individuality.” Poor style can reinforce an attitude of perpetual immaturity and ongoing self-indulgence, even on the subconscious level. The way we present ourselves reflects and reinforces our sense of self. So if you dress like a child, you’re more likely to act like one.

Leadership

Traditionally, men are leaders, at least within their own families, if not more broadly in society. A leader is someone whom others respect and trust. He has the self-confidence to make decisions and act on them (in the best interest of those under his authority). Dressing well can help in both these areas because it enhances our own and others’ perception of us. Research demonstrates that when we encounter someone, we will assume based on one good trait, such as attractive dress and appearance, that the individual has other good traits as well, such as intelligence or reliability. This phenomenon is known as the “halo effect,” and it can be a powerful tool for persuading others and gaining their trust.

Men’s fashion expert Antonio Centeno writes: “There’s a very simple reason for this: you’re trying to influence, and therefore your clothes should be the clothes of an influential man. The halo effect will kick in for you once again, making people much more receptive to your words and ideas ... a well-dressed man speaking calmly about reasonable-sounding ideas is much more likely to be believed than the same man giving the same speech in a sloppy outfit.”

In addition to helping engender trust and openness in your followers, a sharp appearance makes you feel more confident in yourself. Studies have shown that dressing well not only affects how others perceive you but also makes you more self-assured and even aids your ability to think abstractly. Just as dressing in an immature style subtly and subconsciously reinforces an identity of childishness, dressing in a mature and respectable manner reinforces an identity of strength, capability, and confidence. The clothing we wear and the environment we inhabit is a constant message about who we are and who we want to become.

Providing

Throughout history, men have had the responsibility and privilege of providing for others. Today, this generally means earning a salary and using that to purchase food and other necessities for the family. Good style and grooming may help you perform that duty more effectively. All of the points about first impressions and the effect of our appearance on what others think of us apply equally here.

Moreover—and at least in part for reasons related to the halo effect—a good body of research shows that more attractive and better-dressed individuals are more likely to advance in their careers and make more money. In one study, for example, men dressed with varying degrees of stylishness engaged in mock sales negotiations. The sweatpants-clad group earned a theoretical profit of $680,000, while the group decked out in suits earned $2.1 million. Dressing like a successful professional in your field might help you become that, which will allow you to better provide for your family.

Generosity and Gentlemanliness

Perhaps the most important and persuasive reason to dress well as a man has nothing to do with the practical benefits. In the end, dressing well is a matter of respect: respect for your own dignity as a human being, and respect for the dignity and importance of the people around you. “Don’t be afraid to look a little more dressed up than the people around you,” Mr. Centeno writes. “That’s your way of showing them respect.”

Similarly, Mr. Peterson relates that his father, a teacher, always wore a suit to class as a sign of respect to his students. Dressing up shows that you care enough about your interaction with others to put in some effort. It signals that you take others seriously, that you won’t waste their time, and that you want to look nice for them. It’s simply good, gentlemanly manners, that correspond to the importance of human beings and human interactions.

We ought to dress well because we ought to have a healthy regard for ourselves and for those we encounter. Brett McKay of The Art of Manliness website suggests that we think about dressing for others more than ourselves—they’re the ones who have to look at us, after all.

“How you dress contributes to the ambiance, to the weight of an event—to how significant the occasion feels,” Mr. McKay writes. And this can be a gift to everyone involved. Important situations should be set apart, characterized by a more dignified ambiance, which is partly created by our appearance. As Mr. McKay argues, we don’t want our lives to run “together into an indistinct blur” by dressing the same in all situations, which “contributes to the horror” of mundanity and stultifying routine.

Mr. McKay continues: “We’ve lost this idea that the creation of atmosphere is a cooperative endeavor; trained to be passive consumers, we expect to show up and have the atmosphere served to us. ... But ambiance is like orchestral music; when each of the players harmonize their sound, something magical is created. ... When you show up dressed well for something, it contributes to everyone feeling like they’ve momentarily escaped their everyday lives.”

When we eat an important meal together—say Christmas or Easter dinner—and we use the sterling silver forks, the ivory porcelain, and the finest china we own; when we light the candles, put out the tablecloth, and serve turkey and potatoes with wisps of steam dancing in the air; when we put on beautiful music to set the mood; and when we wear our very best and wash our faces and smile so that we can bring pleasure to those who look at us—then, we are designating time together as a mutual gift, worth some effort, worth making distinct, almost sacred, set apart from the ordinary, because it means something important.

In the end, we must remember that we’re not animals. We are rational beings, capable of and called to virtuous and civilized behavior, and our appearance ought to reflect that.