As moms, we could probably name a dozen gifts we’d like to receive for Mother’s Day, but at the end of the day, I think what every mom really wants is someone to make her feel appreciated with a gesture or gift that says “I see you.”
No matter what we do in our life, we want to be recognized for our work and feel that those efforts make a difference. To me, this is what Mother’s Day is about. We hope that the people around us see the efforts we put in as a mother and that our family validates them. As the founder of Beyond Mom, a community that celebrates the many sides of a woman besides the basic label of “mom,” I want to encourage you (especially you dads and husbands out there) to honor and validate not only the moms in your life, but the beyond moms—the woman who is also a thinker, a doer, a mover, and a creator. How can you let her know that you see the woman in the mom?
Here are some ideas:
All women think about their bodies. How it looks. How it feels. How we want it to be better. This is a truth. And as a woman, it’s really important to have the time and space to explore this truth.
One of the shockers I find repeatedly is that many women don’t make time to work out or explore new activities because they don’t think their husband can handle the kids or they feel guilty doing something for themselves.
Go beyond gentleman and not only treat your woman to a beginner series at a yoga studio or several barre classes at Fly Wheel, but assure her that you’ve got the kids! Plan a special dad and kid day to the museum or to a musical event. Plan out a healthy lunch menu that you yourself will prepare for them. Assure her that she can exit and that everything will be A-OK. Moms so want to go “beyond,” but we don’t always know that we have permission to do so. Give her permission.
Part of being a mom is having time with the person who helped to make her a mom. Mother’s Day is traditionally a family day, and it may turn out that mom does all the work when the family comes laden with well-wishes. What she may not tell you is that mom needs to be taken out—to a restaurant, to a spa, a museum, or a place where she can relish the time spent with her daughter or son. This should be a time when all the attention is on her, quality time is not just a label—it’s what she most probably wants.
If you are a mom reading this and want to honor the mom who raised you, perhaps write her a beautiful card and tell her how she helped to shape the mother you have become. I know that the appreciation and gratitude for my mom has only grown since I’ve had my son and what better way to let your mother be seen than by telling her how she has impacted you and the way that you embrace motherhood.
From the perspective of dad, this is the time to give your partner a special gift, in addition, that is romantic and about the two of you. Go for tickets to the theater, an evening at a jazz club, an afternoon of spring shopping. Letting her know that you see the foundation of her motherhood in relation to your love is so important and will make her feel so loved.
Do something simple but meaningful. If my thesis is correct, that we all just want to be acknowledged, then tell her that you “see” her. Write a love letter, sing a song, paint a picture, however you can creatively express to the mom in your life that you see her attributes, her efforts, and her accomplishments, then express it. It’s sometimes those simple but meaningful moments that really grab me and validate everything I work toward.
We are multidimensional as moms and women. When you can recognize the many sides of us and express that appreciation you will make us feel loved, appreciated, and acknowledged. And that feeling is the best feeling of all.
Happy Mothers Day to the mamas in your life!
“Randi Zinn is the founder of Beyond Mom and randizinn.com. She encourages moms to cultivate a life that embraces the gifts of motherhood as well as their skills as businesswomen, thinkers, artists, and entrepreneurs.”
