Your aging parents eventually may need someone to care for and handle their important decisions. While not always necessary, it will be for many adult children. You can prepare for that day by asking some essential questions ahead of time and understanding your parents’ wishes.
One day, you should approach your parents—or surviving parent—and ask about the following topics. It needs to be tactfully done because they may not be ready to think about when they might need help from others.
Medical Care
Your elderly parents may already be getting regular medical care for some health problems and taking medications for them. Find out about their doctor’s visits and any medicines and dosages they are taking. Also, meet and talk with their doctors during visits to ensure they get the proper care while at home.Find out about their health insurance plans and where to find their insurance cards and policy. Ask whether or not they have long-term care insurance and what insurer carries the policy.
If they develop dementia, ask them about their preference for caregiver support. Caring for elderly parents with dementia can be challenging. Do they prefer a family caregiver, a live-in caregiver, or a home care agency to provide part-time services? Before asking this question, consider how much you may be available to help provide care.
Ask whether or not they have an Advanced Directive for healthcare. The document directs the doctors to know the individual’s preferences if they cannot convey their wishes to medical staff. The National Institute on Aging says that this document answers such questions as to whether or not the patient wants to be resuscitated if their heartbeat and breathing stop; if they want to be intubated; hospitalized; and whether or not doctors should give you life-sustaining treatment.
Another very important health care document is called Durable Power of Attorney for health care. LegalZoom says this document gives another person the legal authority to make medical decisions on behalf of someone that has become unable to do so. The selected individual needs to talk with the senior to understand their wishes when a decision becomes necessary.
Important Documents
When a parent develops dementia or needs to go into a hospital or needs other care, you do not want to have to search a house to find important documents. Find out if they are current and where you can find them. The documents you may need include:- wills
- birth and marriage certificates
- Social Security cards
- military records
- property deeds and titles
- insurance policies
- pension benefits
- tax records
- trust information
Legal Care
Aging parents also need someone appointed to take care of their finances. It includes the authority to make financial decisions for the parent(s), the ability to pay bills (including healthcare), etc. The parent’s choice needs to be in a Durable Power of Attorney document. TheElderLawGroup mentions that a spouse may not be knowledgeable of how to handle such issues.If the parent chooses, the same person can make health care decisions and handle financial and legal matters. This situation, however, can cause a conflict of interest. A better choice would be to name two different people in separate documents. Once given that authority, it would require legal action to have the name changed if there is an abuse of power.
Financial Concerns
The children also need to know the financial condition of the aging parents because they may need medical care later. The children should know how the parents intend to pay for it because it can be very expensive. AmadaSeniorCare says that caregivers make an average of $20 per hour; assisted living centers cost over $3,600 per month, and living in a private nursing home will average about $250 per day.The children will often need to research public financial benefits that are available. SeniorLifestyle says they may be able to get help from the following:
- Medicare
- Medicaid
- Veteran’s Benefits
- Supplemental Security Income
- Social Security Disability Insurance
- Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program
Protecting Their Assets
Do they have an estate plan in place to help protect their assets? If not, can they create one—or can a will or trust successfully transfer the assets?Preparing for Medicaid
Discussing the matter of long-term care can be a touchy subject because many seniors know that they will need to spend down their assets to get Medicaid. Even though long-term care may not be necessary, it is a good idea to understand the wishes of your aging parents if the need should arise.Medicaid is not a federal program, but the government wrote the governing principles in 1965. Each state must follow those guidelines and make funds available to almost anyone. It is intended to provide financial help for the disabled and people with low incomes.
Each state creates its own criteria for Medicaid eligibility and what services they offer. While Medicare does not cover long-term care, Medicaid does. Since it is for low-income people, there are some Medicaid spenddown rules. Kiplinger says that most states have a per-person income limit of $2,382 per month ($28,584 per year).
Choice of Residence
Although most people want to live at home as long as possible, it is important to ask where they prefer to live if living at home is no longer an option. HomeCareAngels suggests asking them if they prefer moving in with a family member, an assisted living center, or a retirement home?If they are to continue to live at home, children need to be aware of what modifications are necessary and how much they will cost.
The Desire for Funeral Service
A final matter to understand is what kind of funeral arrangements the parents would like. Do they want a funeral ceremony or service, burial, or do they prefer cremation? Do they have cemetery lots already paid for, and where are they? These decisions should be put in writing and shared with family members.The Epoch Times Copyright © 2023 The views and opinions expressed are those of the authors. They are meant for general informational purposes only and should not be construed or interpreted as a recommendation or solicitation. The Epoch Times does not provide investment, tax, legal, financial planning, estate planning, or any other personal finance advice. The Epoch Times holds no liability for the accuracy or timeliness of the information provided.
