“R-i-i-s-e and sh-i-i-ne and give God the glory ... glory!! R-i-i-se and sh-i-i-ne ...” I sang to wake my young kids each morning to begin our homeschooling routine.
Though they’re older now and less enthused, I still serenade them from sleep when their alarm clocks fail to rescue them from my pre-dawn Mom performance before heading out for their dual-credit classes. In these late teen years, my boisterous tune elicits more groans than grins.
But why would I stop now?
The Power of Family
As our graduating twin seniors get ready to head out for new adventures in a world that scoffs at family ties—and will even work against parents to sever them entirely—nurturing family traditions feels even more urgent and necessary.Some mornings I want to shout, “Go Team Cabrera!” when handing them a bagel and a coffee on their way out the door. “Remember who you are and who you represent!”
It’s time they ventured out, but family doesn’t end with high school or the end of the driveway.
I hope they forever cherish every “book versus the movie” night I meticulously planned, the Cuban roast pork leg that fogs the house with citrusy garlic every Christmas, our yearly river tubing adventures, garage projects with Dad, the beach with Abuela, Sunday church and lunch with Granny, and the deep political, spiritual, and laugh-out-loud conversations we shared.
Did we do enough to build long-lasting bonds that will ensure they are firmly grounded with integrity and that family is a priority?
Rather than try to quickly concoct new and repeatable Norman Rockwell moments, I recently stopped and reflected on the traditions that already uniquely glue our family together, both stupendously orchestrated on special occasions and subtly rooted in our daily lives. Of course, the big gestures are made. Every year I pretend-force my boys to a Valentine’s tea, throw a big Halloween party for all our family friends, and do up Christmas and birthdays to make all feel merry and loved.
However, it occurred to me that the little things, such as my morning serenades, may have more sticking power for proof of unique devotion than the flashy feasts and holiday events: things such as Mom cutting their hair on the back porch every six weeks to save a buck, the pumpkin pie I won’t cook until they get the Halloween decorations down from the attic, after-dinner walks, playing guitars and piano together, growing veggies and playing rock-paper-scissors over who has to pick the okra, cutthroat card game nights, forced reading aloud together that they secretly enjoy, and even cleaning the house together where each knows their part in a well-orchestrated ballet of sanitation.
Also, it has become important that we point these things out to our kids, even if they are at times annoyed by our nostalgic sentiments. What do we have to lose?
Bonds That Last
The hustle and bustle to get to work, pay bills, educate the kids, wash six loads of laundry each week, and remember to feed everyone while keeping up with a world-on-fire outside the door leave little energy for arranging Hallmark moments. On top of that, family traditions are now disregarded and mocked by a growing portion of the country.For the rest of us, it’s startling to see such traditions disappearing, banned, or worse, perverted in many settings. Community events and story time at the library now aren’t always the wholesome family fun expected.
Some would have us believe that traditions are silly, sappy, useless displays of self-importance rooted in some culture that doesn’t exist anymore or should be erased for community progress. But family is the pillar of culture that’s in desperate need of fortifying today. Traditions are what give family meaning, bind us together, and give us something to look forward to and a feeling of being a part of something bigger than us that truly has our back when we need it.
After all, traditions are what many groups, institutions, and schools use to establish a sense of belonging in their members. We should know; we have visited six universities over the past few months. (Sigh.) Traditions were the tokens and insights most eagerly shared by our tour guides and student representatives. If painting one’s face green and learning to growl like a bear can be seen as key to success in education and career studies, then I say, “Go Team (insert family name here)!” is justified and necessary as well.
After four years of college, students will be shelved with inactive alumni status. Depending on their GPA and the food in the dining hall, they will have made friends, school ties, and fond memories. But family always and forever comes with unceasing active status. No application process or tuition is required.
Well, except that the yard must be mowed before anyone’s getting a slice of this freshly baked chocolate cake.
It’s tradition.
