Proverbs to Cherish: ‘Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder’

With a similar sentiment to the more modern 'You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone,' this proverb has a history of more than 2,000 years

During the pandemic, we grew to value human connection more than ever—it's just not the same via video, no matter how hard we try. Liderina/Shutterstock

Recently, my husband had to take a job in another region for a few months. During that time, I felt more than ever the insightfulness of the proverb “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” I used to think it was a bit of an overly affected saying, but now that I’ve experienced it fully, I no longer have that feeling.

Incredibly, this proverb has been with the Western world for more than 2,000 years. As with most proverbs, its history is fascinating and allows us not only to appreciate the long process of its passing down to us, but also the many eras of civilization it survived.

From Rome to England

We can trace back the earliest form of the proverb to a Roman poet named Sextus Aurelius Propertius, who lived from about 50 B.C. to 15 B.C. In a work titled “Elegies,” he writes, “Semper in absentes felicior aestus amantes,” which—in addition to sometimes being rendered in the modern form of the proverb we know—can be translated as “Passion is always warmer toward absent lovers.”