‘Porn-Proof’ Your Children: Mom Pens Book After Friend’s Son Sexually Abused His Siblings

‘Porn-Proof’ Your Children: Mom Pens Book After Friend’s Son Sexually Abused His Siblings
Courtesy of Defend Young Minds
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Stunned by a revelation from a friend, a mom of three went looking for guidance and found a gap in the market of resources to help parents and their kids navigate the dangers of pornography. So she decided to take matters into her own hands.

Kristen Jenson, from Eastern Washington, was distraught when she learned that a friend’s son had sexually abused his younger siblings after exposure to pornography. She searched high and low for any resources that could help this family but found nothing. Beginning in 2011, she spent three years writing the book she wished the world already had.

“Honestly, I was shocked,” Mrs. Jenson told The Epoch Times. “I’m like, this has got to be such a big problem. First of all, if this kid got into it, and it’s affecting him the way it did, and [it’s here] in a conservative family that has their kids at church every Sunday ... it’s got to be widespread.”

Today, Mrs. Jenson is the best-selling author of two illustrated, read-aloud books for parents and their kids: “Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids“ for children aged 7 to 11, and ”Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr.: A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds“ for children aged 3 to 6.
Mrs. Jenson, founder of Defend Young Minds, an amalgam of voices and resources for helping families raise educated, empowered kids. (Courtesy of Defend Young Minds)
Mrs. Jenson, founder of Defend Young Minds, an amalgam of voices and resources for helping families raise educated, empowered kids. Courtesy of Defend Young Minds
... parents vastly underestimate their child’s exposure to porn.
Mrs. Jenson, the founder of Defend Young Minds.

Dealing With Exposure

“Kids have access to the internet on devices from young ages. ... There is no iron gate once you are on the internet, and children can find explicit material they are not ready to process,” Mrs. Jenson said.

One of the biggest roadblocks is what researchers call the “naivete gap,” she says, where “parents vastly underestimate their child’s exposure to porn,” and as a result, children are usually not taught how to deal with what they are seeing.

“I interviewed a lot of parents,” Mrs. Jenson said. “I read a lot. I watched videos on YouTube by experts explaining the neurological effects of pornography. I decided that it would be possible to boil down this information for a 7-year-old in the form of a story. I wanted the book to show a set of proactive parents engaging in conversations with their child.”

The cover of "<a href="https://amzn.to/3vq5xst">Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids</a>," a read-together picture book that can assist parents to teach their children aged 7 to 11 about avoiding the dangers of pornography. (Courtesy of Defend Young Minds)
The cover of "Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids," a read-together picture book that can assist parents to teach their children aged 7 to 11 about avoiding the dangers of pornography. Courtesy of Defend Young Minds

Mrs. Jenson’s book offers an age-appropriate definition of pornography so kids can recognize porn when they see it.

“Bad pictures show the private parts of the body that we cover with a swimsuit,” reads the book, which goes on to explain why these “bad pictures” are harmful, and offers a plan so that kids know what to do when they see them.

Mrs. Jenson said: “Educating kids on the harmful effects of pornography gives them good reasons to reject it. The book for older children describes the process of addiction, while the book for younger children presents the analogy of ‘picture poison.’”

The plan for younger kids comprises three steps, and the plan for older kids comprises five. Both are designed to help them “reject porn in the moment, and deal with the shocking memories that can plague them afterward.”

“It was most challenging to write the definition of pornography,” Mrs. Jenson said. “I took a lot of time revising the definition in the book, and now I see others using it very naturally. I also didn’t want to include sex in this book because kids who are too young to learn about sex are still vulnerable to seeing pornography.”

The Dangers of Porn

Mrs. Jenson’s primary readers are parents and their kids, but her readership also includes grandparents, therapists, law enforcement, educators, religious leaders, pediatricians, and “anyone who cares for or helps children.” Both books started out as self-published, print-on-demand titles but are now bestsellers in multiple categories. Already, the author’s “success stories” are innumerable.
Mrs. Jenson said: “One mom shared on social media that she read ‘Good Pictures Bad Pictures’ to her 9-year-old son, and three days later, he was shown pornography by another student on the playground during recess. Her son came home and told his mom what had happened. He said, ’I was scared, but I knew what to do.' Can’t you just feel the burden coming off of his young shoulders? No child deserves to face the porn industry alone!”
Child-on-child harmful sexual behavior has “skyrocketed into a disturbing trend” since online porn has become so accessible to children, said Mrs. Jenson, citing that according to Darkness to Light, a non-profit dedicated to protecting children from sexual assaults, more than 70 percent of child sexual abuse cases involve a perpetrator who is a peer, a minor. Children are also learning “toxic sexual scripts” from porn, warping their views of marital relations and compromising their ability to enjoy a healthy relationship with a future spouse.
Mrs. Jenson at the KidzMatter MegaCon conference in Nashville in October 2022. (Courtesy of Defend Young Minds)
Mrs. Jenson at the KidzMatter MegaCon conference in Nashville in October 2022. Courtesy of Defend Young Minds

Perhaps even more insidious is the use of pornography by sexual predators as a grooming tool.

“It’s used to break down inhibitions and serve as a tutorial for what is expected. It normalizes children having sex with adults,” said Mrs. Jenson, who has already heard anecdotes of her book helping prevent potential grooming.

One anecdote came from a mother who had read “Good Pictures Bad Pictures” to her 6-year-old son. The incident occurred while dining at a friend’s home.

Recounting the incident, Mrs. Jenson said: “A renovation project caused their friends to put the children’s toys downstairs, so each child was allowed to run down and grab a toy to play with. While the 6-year-old stayed looking at the toys, the man who rented the downstairs apartment approached him and showed him a video of gay porn on his phone. The boy immediately recognized that he was seeing porn, and he ran up and told his mom. He got himself out of a very harmful situation.”

Protecting Kids Is Possible

Children are trusting, Mrs. Jenson says, and are susceptible to “highly trained predators” who groom them into uploading naked photos and then extort them for money. These predators can even show up in online video games, posing as children. They seek out a specific child and work together to normalize sharing nudes or highly sexualized videos.

While the threat of porn may seem overwhelming to the parents of kids growing up in this digital age, Mrs. Jenson insists that protecting kids is both possible and realistic.

Her two-pronged “high tech, low tech” approach explains how: “The high tech approaches include limiting exposure to screens, setting up parental controls, and filtering of both the Wi-Fi and each individual device when possible, using accountability software to monitor phones and other devices, and providing safer phones to kids,” she said. “[The low tech approaches include] setting up boundaries and rules at home, and at friends’ and families’ houses, giving kids an action plan for when they inevitably encounter pornography, educating kids on the harms of porn, and shaping a disposition to reject it.

“Kids need an internal filter for rejecting porn wherever they may encounter it.”

Since publishing her read-aloud books, Mrs. Jenson, who has two young grandchildren, has gone on to co-author “Good Pictures Bad Pictures Guide to Counseling Kids“ and executive produce ”Brain Defense: Digital Safety,” a curriculum for kids aged 7 to 11.
The Italian edition of the book, "<a href="https://amzn.to/3vq5xst">Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids</a>." (Courtesy of Defend Young Minds)
The Italian edition of the book, "Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids." Courtesy of Defend Young Minds

‘Sooner Is Safer’

Pornography has become so mainstream that “respectable” companies advertise on their sites, said Mrs. Jenson, who worries that not enough people are talking about “how porn fuels child sexual abuse, child sex trafficking and prostitution,” teaches people to objectify others and their own bodies, and promotes sexual aggression.

“Online pornography is big business,” she said. “Porn is truly the dopamine drug of the digital age. It’s extremely addicting–often leading to lifelong emotional and mental health struggles.

“It is natural for parents to be worried about their children who have been viewing porn, but it is important to let children know they are loved unconditionally and remind ourselves that we are all on the same team. Porn is the enemy.”

Defend Young Minds offers a newsletter and several downloadable guides on its website: “How to Talk to Kids about Pornography,“ and ”My Kid Saw Porn, Now What?“ Mrs. Jenson advises parents and people who work with children to make the most of these new and science-backed resources.

“We can help parents begin these crucial conversations by taking simple, proactive steps,” she said. “With all of the digital dangers out there, sooner is safer when it comes to talking to our kids about rejecting porn.”

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