It was time to celebrate three and a half years of TV-free life. A big cheque came in the mail. The money was burning a hole in my pocket. What else could I do? I had to buy a used piano off Craigslist. Stop it! Stop laughing! Even the most savvy and street-smart consumer does something truly idiotic now and again. It was time for the kids to have lessons and I squirmed at the thought of those dirty little kid fingers all over my two-thousand-dollar electric piano.
The piano I chose was too far away. It was a name brand, Heintzman. It sounded fine over the phone, just a bit flat. I bought it for $450 sight unseen. Then I had to move it. Did you know piano movers charge $10 for every step on a set of stairs? Did you know Heintzman Sr. had a naughty nephew who started his own company called Gerhard Heintzman that made nothing but lousy pianos? Keep reading. I’m hoping you will learn from my folly.
My pocket was an additional $200 plus 11 stairs lighter when the movers unwrapped it. By the third note I realized it was garbage, kindling, a $650 “plus stairs” coffee table. I called my cheap piano tuner and told him not to come. Some of the keys didn’t even play. I called Robert Lowrey’s Piano Experts. I was surprised when a hundred bucks and a day later Robert Lowrey himself turned up at my house to admire my in-home art instillation entitled, “Piece of crap which looks like a piano.” Price $750 plus stairs.
Lowrey is a really nice guy, a real mensch. He was quick to assure me he’d seen worse.
“I’ve seen hundreds of pianos over the years that people have spent eight or ten thousand dollars on that are worthless as far as I’m concerned.” He waived the fee for appraisal. He checked the tuning pegs. The torque was OK. He had a look at the action and registration. It was a near terminal case of neglect. He would send someone over. He gave me an extremely good price for the repairs. He has sympathy for the naïve piano lover, and he knows all this kindness has made me a customer for life.
