Freedom is the ability to make good choices. For Deanna Lynn, who left the commercial sex trade and is now helping other women to do the same, her greatest wish is for women like her to heal from trauma and learn to make and trust their decisions. Her own life is a testimony to the blessings that result from these.
Ms. Lynn was first exposed to pornography at age 5, and by 17 she was on the streets, addicted to drugs, and lured into the sex trade by promises of modeling contracts. She spent the next 10 years in the pornography business. When she wanted to get out, she had no source of practical help: “I’d had every class of humanity come into my room. How do I learn to interact with people again, where do I go to heal from something like that?” she asked.
She turned to faith, and she knew she could be redeemed. “I just didn’t know how to live.” In 2008, before she left the commercial sex business, she was baptized. A woman from her church said to her, “What if I told you there was a place you could go to rest?” It sounded wonderful: a safe house where she could go for 12 months to disconnect from the voices that had brainwashed her, focus on healing, learn new ways of making decisions. This was Refuge for Women in Kentucky, which had opened in 2010 with eight spots for women who wanted to get out of the commercial sex trade.
“They had no outreach, no advertising,” Ms. Lynn said. “It really was divine encounter to be one of those eight women who could go to this safe house and get well. We all came from different states. Every story was so personal about how we got connected with Refuge.” After a series of interviews to be sure that she was fully committed to a 12-month program, Ms. Lynn left California and went to Kentucky.
Coming Home
The first thing she noticed was a “Welcome Home” sign on the door. She’d grown up in a family, but “the memories were really hard. There was a lot of violence, anger, drunkenness, rebellion. I’d never thought, ‘Oh, I want to go home.’” One of the first things she learned at Refuge for Women was what it felt like to be in a home, to be safe.
They had Monday night dinners with neighbors. “I got to see healthy families interact, where the children weren’t burdens to the parents, and nobody was fighting.” The women ate together each evening. To be able to commiserate with them was one of the most healing things for Ms. Lynn: “Nowhere at the table do you see somebody’s brand of sin; you just see people,” she said.
They learned how to interact genuinely with people. “We were able to think of dreams that we’d had before this part of our life hijacked us.” The women were involved in recovery programs and church, and each had her own mentor. A community surrounded them so that they had a stabilizing safe place.
