Respect for the elderly is one of the most mannerly actions we can teach our children. But how can children have such respect if they only mingle with those their own age? To combat this problem, etiquette instructor Bethany Friske offers five simple ways to cultivate interaction, knowledge, and respect through multi-generational gatherings.
Cut the Kids’ Table
“Put all of the generations at the same table or room if possible,” Friske says, noting that age-segregated seating hinders the younger generation in learning from the older. To mix the generations even more, she suggests numbering every place setting, then requiring each person to draw another number as they go through the food line, matching the second number to the one at the table. Doing so prevents cliques from forming, whether young or old.Group Activities Done Right
Planning group activities—games, crafts, or walks—is a great way to mix multiple generations, Friske says. One of the best ways, however, is to get people talking. Friske suggests hosts create questions asking, “What is your favorite song?” or “What was your first car?” Guests should write their answers on a slip of paper, then share them verbally. This spawns stories from older guests while also allowing younger ones to share their current interests.Embrace Tradition
Implementing certain rituals among your extended family, Friske believes, “really does bring the generations together.” It can be a silly game, such as various gift-trading games at Christmas, or sharing Grandpa’s signature cookies when the family gathers. Other ways to create memories include hosting a pie cook-off for Thanksgiving or having an annual progressive dinner where everyone brings a favorite mug in which to eat each course.Many Hands Make Light Work
Grandma shouldn’t be the only one in the kitchen. Divide the responsibilities of hosting among the generations, Friske says, with the oldest generation bringing the meat, the next bringing the sides, and the youngest bringing dessert. Then make everyone sign up for a cleanup slot, enabling the various ages to “get to know [one another] in a different way in the kitchen chit-chat.” This also diminishes resentment and guilt as everyone shares the workload.Think Outside the Holiday Box
Holidays shouldn’t be the only time multiple generations get together. Friske says that some families host “once-a-month Sunday meals,” a standing invitation with a regular menu item such as pizza, or a dinner and prayer time, where people come and share their prayer requests with one another. You can also make a family recipe together, Friske suggests, or simply plan a time to pull out old memorabilia and reminisce, laughing over favorite memories.This article was originally published in American Essence magazine.
