How to Become a More Patient Parent

Tips for practicing patience when engaging with your children.

Regular bedtime routines benefit everyone in the household. Shutterstock

Patience is a virtue, as the proverbial phrase goes, and perhaps doubly so for parents. No matter what the age or stage of your children, patience is a key element in ensuring you’re doing your absolute best to fulfill your parental duties well.

Of course, who can try a parent’s patience more easily than one’s child? These little people who have been put in your care have an uncanny ability to reflect on you every insecurity you harbor, every pet peeve you hold, every flaw you try to hide, and every shortcoming you fear. Like mirrors into one’s character, it’s as if God sent them to you to make you aware of every way in which you might improve.

Every parent wants to be the best they can be for their children. When we lack patience, it’s hard to be the warm, nurturing parent we want to be. We might snap at them or passively send them the message that they are a bother or somehow doing something wrong, even when they are not.

Parenthood calls us to become more selfless, more patient, more humble, and more present. How can we show up and do our very best for our children? How can we be more patient?

Take Care

Most parents will do everything they can to take care of their children, but they can often neglect taking care of themselves. The irony is that in order to do well taking care of one’s children, one must tend to oneself.

Rather than subsisting on leftover goldfish crackers and four hours of sleep a night, set up your habits in such a way that takes maximum care of you—your children’s mom or dad.

It’s amazing how much patience one can muster once they’ve had a good night’s sleep, adequate nutrition, a little exercise, and some sunshine.

Simplify

Often, a lack of patience manifests when one feels interrupted or overwhelmed. Childhood is fleeting. Make your parenting duties the priority by scaling back other less important obligations or tasks. Give yourself some breathing room by arranging your days in such a way that you have time to focus on your children. Life can quickly pile up, so be intentional with your time.

Bedtime

Regular bedtime routines can have a huge effect on your entire home life. If your and your children’s bedtime habits are not conducive to your life, take the steps to establish new habits.

Habit training requires patience and diligence and can take some time, but once you’ve got children and parents who are enjoying solid, regular bedtime routines, every member of the family will benefit.

Slow Down

Parents have a lot on their plates, and we can find ourselves rushing from one task to another.

Slow down and enjoy the moment. Listen to those long stories your children delight in telling you. Play with their toys, read another storybook, linger at the park, and color right beside them. You surely have things to do, and you’ll do them, but don’t busy yourself so much every single day that you miss moments that are formative, precious, and fleeting.

Nurture

As children grow, they are learning how to comport themselves in the world. If you are losing patience because their behavior is unsatisfactory to you, take time to lovingly and patiently teach them well. Ensure they are getting enough sleep, eating healthy, unprocessed, and nutritious foods, and not spending much time staring at screens. Get them outside into nature and teach them well all along the way. Nurture your children’s bodies, minds, and souls, and you’ll find there is less for you to lose patience over.

Reflect

When you find yourself feeling particularly impatient, pause and reflect on the root cause. What’s really bothering you about this situation? Is there something you fear or worry about? Are you thinking about your reputation among others or your own self-interest in some way?

Our children truly can show us ways in which we can improve. Take the lesson when it comes, and you may even find yourself thanking your children for the opportunity for growth. When you see challenges as gifts, you’ll find yourself with much more patience to pull from.