How to Be a Great Neighbor

The secret to being a wonderful neighbor is simple—just start by being the neighbor you wish you had.

A smile is a good place to start for building a healthy neighborly relationship. New Africa/Shutterstock

The old saying about not being able to pick family members also applies to neighbors. When moving to a new home or apartment, the neighbors are rarely a consideration at first. The same goes for when new people move into your neighborhood. While they may not all turn out to be great, sometimes they evolve into good friends. There are a few things that can be done to foster community and friendly relations.

Break the Ice

The best way to start is by being friendly. Smiling and a casual wave to passing neighbors can be an effective icebreaker. Kids and dogs tend to find each other and play, creating an opportunity for the grown-ups to introduce themselves to each other. Keep an eye out for things in common, such as having the same breed of dog or owning a boat, RV, motorcycle, or the same brand of vehicle.

Other icebreaker topics include compliments about a neighbor’s landscaping or holiday decorations that can stimulate a pleasant conversation and help you get to know each other, even if you become only “wave as you drive past” acquaintances.

Be Friendly

When outside mowing the lawn or washing the car, or when picking up the mail in a condo or apartment building, acknowledge the neighbors with a friendly smile and a “Hey, how are you doing today?” greeting. All too often, it’s easy to be lost in one’s own thoughts. A cheerful greeting will make a neighbor smile.

The trick is to know when to be friendly and when to mind one’s own business. Peeking over the fence to see what is going on is never a good idea unless there are cries for help. The same goes for unsolicited advice or negative comments about a neighbor’s lawn, landscaping, or their choice of music for backyard events.

Keep It Neat

Keeping one’s property looking its best goes a long way toward good relations with neighbors. Mowing the lawn and trimming trees or shrubs regularly adds to the neighborhood’s overall appeal. If you do your own car maintenance, such as oil changes, make sure to not leave a vehicle on jack stands for more than an afternoon.

Other thoughtful actions include containing dogs behind a fence, training them to not bark excessively, and keeping them on a leash when walking them. Cleaning up after them is a must, too. Be aware if the kids are being a bit overly boisterous.

Invite Everyone

When hosting a backyard barbeque or birthday party, invite your next-door neighbors and others on the block. Even if they do not attend, extending an invitation is a pleasant surprise. It’s also a good way to let the neighbors know there will be some extra activity taking place.

If the event is geared to kids, or perhaps is a backyard gathering to watch the hometown team on TV, make a point of having separate and age-appropriate snacks, food, and beverages for kids and adults. Consider separate seating areas as well.

If you are having a backyard barbecue, consider inviting the neighbors. Gorodenkoff/Shutterstock

Share in Their Joy

Being aware of a neighbor’s accomplishments is also a good way to build a relationship. When the couple down the street welcomes a new baby, or you discover they have a child graduating from high school or college, make a point of congratulating them.

Most people enjoy sharing their successes and achievements; even if it doesn’t create a friendship, doing so creates goodwill and fondness between you. On a related note, extending condolences when your neighbor loses family members or pets is the right thing to do.

Lend a Hand

A neighbor who is ready to lend a helping hand is an asset. If you see neighbor struggling with a massive project such as trimming a tree, building a treehouse, painting the exterior of a home, or cleaning gutters, offer to assist if it is within your personal skill set. Without offering unsolicited advice, help make the project and cleanup go smoothly.

Loaning tools, ladders, lawnmowers, and other equipment is a neighborly tradition worth preserving. Helping others is what good neighbors do.

Join the Board

Consider starting a neighborhood watch group, or joining an existing one. If there is a homeowners association (HOA) or condominium owners association (COA), attend the meetings to keep up with current events and meet those who live nearby.

However, keep in mind that HOAs and COAs and the boards of directors that run them can be divisive or overly controlling. In this scenario, consider running for a board seat in order to ensure the association functions as it should and conducts association business in a fair and equitable manner.

The bottom line is to set a good example and strive to be the neighbor anyone would love to have next door.