How to Be a Gentleman: A Politeness Handbook From 1875 Explains What ‘True Courtesy’ Really Is All About

How to Be a Gentleman: A Politeness Handbook From 1875 Explains What ‘True Courtesy’ Really Is All About
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Epoch Inspired Staff
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TRUE COURTESY.

POLITENESS is the art of pleasing. It is to the deportment what the finer touches of the pencil are to the picture, or what harmony is to music. In the formation of character, it is indispensably requisite. “We are all,“ says Locke, ”a kind of chameleons, that take a tincture from the objects which surround us.” True courtesy, indeed, chiefly consists in accommodating ourselves to the feelings of others, without descending from our own dignity, or denuding ourselves of our own principles. By constant intercourse with society, we acquire what is called politeness almost intuitively, as the shells of the sea are rendered smooth by the unceasing friction of the waves; though there appears to be a natural grace about the well-bred, which many feel it difficult to attain.

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