The husband, in fact, should act toward his wife as becomes a perfect gentleman, regarding her as the “best lady in the land,” to whom, above all other earthly beings, he owes paramount allegiance.
After marriage one of the first requirements for happiness is a home. This can seldom be found in a boarding house or at a hotel, and not always beneath the parental roof of either husband or wife. It will oftenest be found in a house or even a cottage apart from the immediate association of relatives or friends, acquaintances or strangers, and here husband and wife may begin in reality, that new life of which they have had fond dreams; and upon their own actions must depend their future welfare.
Husband and wife should remember, when starting out upon their newly wedded life, that they are to be life companions, that the affection they have possessed and expressed as lovers must ripen into a life-long devotion to one another’s welfare and happiness, that the closest friendship must be begotten from their early love, and that each must live and work for the other. They must seek to be congenial companions to each other, so that every hour they pass together will be mutually enjoyable. They should aim to have the same tastes so that what one enjoys will be alike enjoyable to the other, and what is distasteful to one shall be no less so to the other. Each should yield in matters where it is right to yield, and be firm only where duty is concerned. With a firm trust in one another they should ever abide, that each may say to the world, “I possess one on whose character and heart I can lean as upon a rock.”
Let neither ever deceive the other, or do anything to shake the other’s confidence, for once deceived, the heart can never wholly trust again. Fault-finding should only be done by gentle and mild criticism, and then with loving words and pleasant looks. Make allowances for one another’s weaknesses, and at the same time endeavor to mutually repress them. For the sake of mutual improvement the husband and wife should receive and give corrections to one another in a spirit of kindness, and in doing so they will prepare themselves for the work God gives the parents of training lives for usefulness here and hereafter. Their motto should be “faithful unto death in all things,” and they must exercise forbearance with each other’s peculiarities.
Let both preserve a strict guard over their tongues, that neither may utter anything rude, contemptuous or severe, and guard their tempers, that neither may ever grow passionate or become sullen or morose in one another’s presence. They should not expect too much from each other; if either offends, it is the part of the other to forgive, remembering that no one is free from faults, and that we are all constantly erring.
If, perchance, after they have entered upon the stern realities of life, they find, that they have made a mistake, that they are not well mated, then they must accept the inevitable and endure to the end, “for better or for worse;” for only in this way can they find consolation for having found out, when too late, that they were unfitted for a life-long companionship. A journalist has said: “No lessons learned by experience, however sharply taught and sadly earned, can enlighten the numbed senses which love has sent to sleep by its magic fascination; and things as plain as the sun in heaven to others are dark as night, unfathomable as the sea, to those who let themselves love before they prove.”
