Two years ago my life felt seriously out of balance. My “To Do” list was never-ending. My job as a program officer in an international development organization felt more like a chore than the vocation I had chosen, and I felt fatigued and frustrated and not able to connect with family and friends. This was not the life I had envisioned for myself.
Not having the vocabulary—or road map for—the equilibrium I longed for, I decided to change the direction of my career, the area of my life that seemed the most out of sync. So I hired a life coach to guide me through the process, and the experience transformed my life.
Awareness Through Life Coaching
This coaching relationship empowered me to take a deeper look at who I wanted to be. I became aware that there is no such thing as a perfect place of balance. Our lives are not static—we are constantly changing and growing, as are our needs. In my case, my desire for a career change wasn’t simply about my wanting to do something different. I had come to a point in my life and career where spending most of my time interfacing with a computer screen was no longer satisfying. I needed greater human connection. Once I realized this shift in my needs, I was able to explore what greater human connection would look and feel like for me. I soon discovered that I was meant to be a life coach and created a new vision of fulfillment for my life.
Tips for Long-Term Balance
Gaining this insight was the first step to taking control of my life. Maintaining long-term balance has been an ongoing process. As I navigate the ups and downs of life, the following three tips keep me on track:
1) Reconnect with my life purpose: My life purpose is to live my life authentically. This means honoring my values, staying open to the endless possibilities of life, rejecting limiting beliefs that distract me from my goals, and using my inner light to help others nurture and cultivate the light that is inside of them. When I am living my life in line with this purpose, I have a sense of fulfillment and balance— similar to the sensation of my arms, hips, and feet swaying perfectly in sync with the melody and beat of my favorite song. Reconnecting to my life purpose reminds me that I can choose a life that is alive with possibility and aligned with my vision of fulfillment.
2) Identify values: Three values I choose to honor most in my life right now are: authenticity, nurturing my family, and being of service. These values represent what is important to me at this point in my life. When I feel like I’m out of the natural flow of my life, I recall these values and try to honor and celebrate them every day. By doing this, I feel empowered to make choices that support my life purpose and ultimately my sense of balance and well-being.
3) Choose to look from another perspective: My husband and I are not able to have children. When I first got this news a year ago my initial reaction was devastation and self-pity. We would never be parents. The glass was half empty. However, as I grieved the dream of carrying my own child, I was able to consider other possibilities. We are currently pursuing adoption and look forward to being parents in the near future. The glass is now half full. The more choice I believe I have, the more empowered I am to make decisions that hold resonance for me.
When I feel stuck or blocked, these tips remind me that I can operate from a place of abundance. I now create balance in my life through conscious choice. As an example, my husband and I decided to pursue adoption. I ensure that whatever I do is in line with honoring my values and/or falls within the bigger vision that I have for my life. It may not always feel easy, but I will know in my heart that I have made the right decision when I am able to give more or less attention to areas of my life as needed. I determine how I navigate the paths my life may take.
Helping Others
The experiences I described—the imbalance and lack of fulfillment—were the catalysts that led me to hire a life coach. The clarity of purpose and the ability to truly be present to the flow of my own life also led me to become a life coach as a way of being able to help others.
What about you? How do you maintain balance? What do you do to realign yourself when you are off track? The next time you feel out of sync, consider going through the steps above. It may require one small action—a change in one habit, or perhaps taking no action at all. Whatever is needed, start there. Expand your view of what is possible, and choose the way you manage your priorities, expectations, and perspectives so that you are consciously juggling your daily to do’s and have time for what is most important.
Winnehl Tubman-Dempsey is a professional life coach and president of Tubman Life Coaching (TLC), a New York City company. Visit www.TubmanLifeCoaching.com for further information or follow her on Twitter: @thetlccoach.
