Be Your Best: Dinner Party Guest

Make sure you’re invited to the next fête, too

Hosts and guests alike contribute to an ideal dinner party atmosphere in which friends, both new and old, can mingle, eat great food, and enjoy each other’s company. Fei Meng

The host or hostess put considerable time, effort, and money into hosting you. Return the kindness by being the best guest ever, starting with sending your RSVP promptly and letting the host know about any food allergies. Then, do the following.

Watch the Clock

Your hosts went through a lot of effort, so show consideration by arriving on time; if you are “fashionably late,” which is to say 30 minutes or more after the set time, everyone might have to wait on your arrival to be served. On the other hand, showing up too early presents another set of issues: The hosts might not be ready to entertain guests, or they may still be getting dressed or working in the kitchen to get the food and drinks ready.

Plan ahead so that you arrive no more than 10 minutes early or 10 minutes late. The rule of thumb is to leave the party about 15 minutes after dessert is finished; don’t be the person who is still there an hour later.

Be Gracious

As the host extends the tray of pickled pigs feet your way, take one with a big smile and a “thanks”; you can either eat it or discreetly dispose of it later. On the other hand, if the food is set out on a table for guests to serve themselves, refrain from any comments that might come across as sanctimonious or unappreciative, such as “You eat meat?!” and “These chicken wings must have come from a tiny chicken.”