If you ask people what they most want in life, many will tell you that they want to be happy. But what does that actually mean?
Do they want to walk around grinning exuberantly all day, laughing giddily all the time? Do they wish to never experience negative emotions such as sadness or fear? Do they want life to manifest in a way that’s devoid of challenges, problems, and sacrifice?
When you think about it, “to be happy” isn’t all that clear an aim. What does being happy look like in a practical sense? What would life be without challenges from time to time or variety in experience?
What’s even more difficult for most people to define is what would make them happy. Some might think that millions of dollars would do the trick, or perfect health, or great fame, or wonderful personal relationships. Of course, we all know examples of people who have those things but still lack happiness.
What most people probably mean by “happy” is a general sense of satisfaction or contentment about their lives. However, what they might not realize is that they have everything they need to be happy now. The answer lies not in external factors but in internal ones. A state of satisfaction and contentment can be achieved immediately if one so chooses.
If you would like to achieve such a state, ask yourself a few simple questions and enjoy your newfound happiness.
A state of satisfaction and contentment comes from internal factors, not external ones. (Biba Kayewich)
What Am I Grateful For?
True gratitude from the heart will overwhelm your complaints, your feelings of envy and jealousy, your sense of lack, and your bitterness and resentment. Instead, the more you conjure up the countless blessings that you enjoy in your life, and the more your heart and spirit swell with a deep sense of gratitude, the more abundant your sense of satisfaction and contentment with your life will be. Happiness starts and ends with gratitude.
What’s Wonderful About My Life?
You’ve come this far. What has been wonderful along this journey that has been your life? The very fact that you exist at all is a miracle to behold. What else has fate bestowed upon your life that you can look upon with awe?
What Experiences Am I Glad to Have Had in Life?
Every person walks a unique path in life. What has your journey looked like so far? What experiences are you so glad to have had? Who have you met? Where have you been? What have you accomplished? What have you created? What coincidences have you borne witness to? What has surprised you? What has delighted you?
What Lessons Have I Learned?
The ups and downs of life leave lessons in their wake. What have you learned along the way? What insights, what truths, and what principles have you been enlightened to? What skills have you mastered? What values have you learned to hold dear?
What Blessings Have I Enjoyed?
If you look carefully at your life, you'll likely see that you’ve been blessed with certain traits, circumstances, talents, relationships, opportunities, and even material possessions. What blessings have you enjoyed in your life?
What Are Some of My Most Cherished Memories?
Even if you tend to think of your life as mostly a difficult one, you surely have some positive memories you can look back on. Perhaps a moment from your childhood stands out or a monumental day such as when you became a parent or got married, or something simple such as a time you felt that you performed well at something important to you or that you felt especially connected to a loved one. What memories do you most cherish?
What About My Life Right Now Is Great?
We tend to focus on the negative, but, looking at your present circumstances, what about life right now is great? Do you enjoy regular food and shelter? There’s a good place to start. Perhaps you could point to a habit that you’ve recently improved upon or a goal you’ve gotten a little bit closer to. Perhaps you’ve let go of some negative tendencies or you’ve improved something. Perhaps you enjoy your morning coffee or regular afternoon walks. Perhaps your pet greets you joyfully each day when you get home or you recently mastered a delicious recipe. What’s great right now?
What Am I Grateful For?
This question deserves revisiting after going through this exercise. You’ve now pondered over copious aspects of life that you can feel deep gratitude for. Bask in your sense of gratitude for this life you’ve been given, for all of its highs and lows. Enjoy contentment, satisfaction, and the fact that you can be happy now.
Barbara Danza is a mom of two, an MBA, a beach lover, and a kid at heart.
Here, diving into the challenges and opportunities of parenting in the modern age. Particularly interested in the many educational options available to families today, the renewed appreciation of simplicity in kids’ lives, the benefits of family travel, and the importance of family life in today’s society.
