A Reader’s Story of Family Reconciliation Reminds US of What Makes America an Exceptional Place

He risked it all when he married a woman who wasn’t Jewish. He’s grateful that in America, you don’t have to choose between faith and love.

(L to R) The writer's wife Ingrid, with his mother and father. Courtesy of Kerry Berman

Why do I love America? There are many wonderful reasons. This country offers you choices and the freedom to choose any worthwhile path, practice your faith, and accomplish the desires of your heart.

I was expelled from Hebrew school at 13, dropped out of high school at 15, and joined the Marine Corps at 17. Two months after I turned 18, I found myself in Vietnam as a radio operator and tunnel rat on the front lines for eight months. When my commanding officer found out I could type, I became a colonel’s secretary for the last five months of my 13-month tour.

By the grace of God, I made it home to our beautiful country. Riots were breaking out all over America in protest of the Vietnam War. Over 58,000 men and women gave their all and the rest of us gave some.

Why do I love America, and the freedoms and liberties here that so many sacrificed to preserve?

The writer and his wife got married in Palm Springs, Calif. Courtesy of Kerry Berman

I made another choice that you couldn’t make in most other countries in the world. Shortly after I founded Temple Sinai of The Desert (a reform Jewish temple), I met a little lady who was a volunteer church secretary at Desert Chapel in Palm Springs. I called up the rabbi to seek advice. Since I am Jewish, marrying a woman outside of Judaism is a major breach of tradition. You stand to get disowned by your family, as I was, for 20 of the 25 years we were married. At lunch with the rabbi, he asked me about Ingrid. Does she have good morals, integrity, and family values? My response to each of his questions was yes. He said, “What are you looking for?” One year later, we were married by a justice of the peace, Judge Robinson, at a Palm Springs botanical garden.

At the end of the first year of marriage, my father asked me to go for a walk with him. He told me that he and my mother decided to take me out of the will. I kept in touch with my parents, keeping them informed of our situation for the next 20 years. They missed out on getting to know their wonderful, intelligent, beautiful grandson Brian, our only child.

The writer's mother and father. Courtesy of Kerry Berman

Fast forward 20 years. In 1999, Dad wanted to get together. He explained that both he and mom were very proud of us and appreciated the fact that I had never given up on them. They put us back in the will, and we reconciled.

Over the next five years, God performed what I consider a miracle. Mom had gone back to college at 40 to get her teaching credentials; Ingrid at age 40 went to the same college my mom had gone to, in order to get her teaching credentials. They had 20 missed years of life to share with each other.

The writer's mother knitting a comforter for his wife. Biba Kayewich for American Essence

In February 2003, my mom had cancer, and she was knitting her daughter-in-law a comforter. She didn’t know that my wife also had cancer. They both passed within a month of each other. Ingrid passed away on our 25th wedding anniversary and was buried in the comforter my mom made for her.

Why do I love America so much?  We have more freedoms, choices, and liberties. And more miracles happen in our country than any other in the world.

God bless America. We need to keep God in the U.S.A.

This article was originally published in American Essence magazine.