A Mother’s Wisdom: Tim McGraw’s ‘Humble and Kind’

Songwriter Lori McKenna wrote the sentimental country hit for her children.

Songwriter Lori McKenna performs at Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum’s Poets and Prophets: Salute to Songwriter series in Nashville, 2018. Jason Kempin/Getty Images

“The day I wrote ‘Humble and Kind’ was unusual,” says songwriter Lori McKenna.

In a video segment called “I Wrote That” by media outlet CMT, McKenna explained how a break in her routine helped her write one of her most played songs.

After dropping her children off at school one day, McKenna didn’t head to her usual spot, her studio. Instead, she headed back home to her dining room, where she’d spend the whole day working on a song she calls “a little prayer,” and “a lullaby that I wrote for my kids.”

With coffee in hand, she contemplated her children and all the principles she wanted them to uphold.

“It was a day at home alone of me staring out my dining room window and praying for a good line.”

The lyrics came slowly, but it was worth it. Throughout the day, she wrote down lines like, “When the dreams you’re dreamin' come to you/ When the work you put in is realized/ Let yourself feel the pride but/ Always stay humble and kind.”

She already had a vocalist in mind for the song while writing the lyrics. After finishing the song, she made a simple recording of just her voice and her guitar. Then, thinking he’d be a good fit for it, she emailed the track to fellow country music singer Tim McGraw and waited for a response.

Her intuition was right, and as soon as McGraw heard it, he got to work making the heartfelt composition his own.

What began as a “love letter to her kids” would soon turn into a career-defining song. McKenna still gets emotional when discussing it because of how deeply personal it is, and how many listeners connect with that vulnerability and find comfort in her words.

Lori McKenna recording in the studio for her 2016 album "The Bird & the Rifle," which features the song "Humble and Kind" that she wrote for her children. Internet Archive. Public Domain

‘Living Your Values’

When McKenna penned “Humble and Kind,” her five children ranged in age from 10 to 25 years old. When McGraw recorded it, he had one of his own children on his mind, his daughter Gracie, who was heading off to college. Recording the song brought out his emotional side as he thought about his college-bound daughter, and how the lyrics related to his family as well.

He told music site Taste of Country, “I cried through every take. I would try to get myself together and I’d get halfway through it and I would just start blubbering every time I tried to sing a line.”

While recording the single in the studio, McGraw made a few small changes to the chorus melody to make the song even more impactful. But he made no changes to the lyrics. Like McKenna, he viewed the song’s message as a way to connect with his children. “It certainly is a letter to your kids in a lot of ways.”

Tim McGraw and Faith Hill (C) with two of their three daughters, Audrey (L) and Maggie, at Nashville’s Ryman Auditorium for the 16th Annual Academy of Country Music Honors in 2023. Terry Wyatt/Getty Images

McKenna also shared the lines that move her the most. “When you get where you’re goin', don’t forget turn back around/ And help the next one in line.”

For her, the lesson of helping those around you reminds her of her own childhood, and how it influenced her children’s experience as well.

“I’m the youngest of six in my family and ... each one of my siblings helped raise me. And that’s kind of how my kids have been … with one another. Just sort of being there and turnin’ back and makin’ sure the next one’s okay.”

When McGraw released the single in 2016, it quickly became a fan favorite. It climbed all the way to the top of country music charts in both America and Canada. “Humble and Kind” also won a Grammy for Best Country Song.

McKenna and McGraw soon realized they had tapped into a universal theme often covered in artistry—the importance of family and the wisdom older generations can bestow upon younger ones for the future.

The song gained mass appeal because it relates to what so many care about, according to lifestyle site Self Improvement Daily: “The whole song is about living your values.”

A ‘Full Circle Moment’

One of McKenna’s favorite “Humble and Kind” memories came when she had the opportunity to play the gentle ballad in Nashville.

Lori McKenna performing onstage during the 2019 Americana Honors & Awards at Ryman Auditorium in Nashville. Jason Kempin/Getty Images

McKenna’s values, which many country music listeners relate to, were on full display when she was invited to perform a set for the Grand Ole Opry. She only had time for a few songs, and “Humble and Kind” was one of them. What made the night even more special was the moment she got to sing the song to her children as they watched her perform from the audience. She recalled the special occasion, which she once referred to as a “full circle moment,” while talking to Bart Herbison of Nashville Songwriters Association International.

“I played the Opry with my guitar player, Mark. All my kids were there except for my oldest, Brian. … I sang that song. You get two or three to play and I sang that song. The kids all knew it was their song.”

Another special moment happened when McGraw performed the hit single while McKenna, a Massachusetts resident, attended one of his live shows with her family.

“When Tim plays it, it’s off the charts for us. I have this great picture that my friend Becky took of us all at the Boston Garden the year that ‘Soul to Soul’ [McGraw’s tour] was here and Tim played the song and we’re all just holding each other. The McGraws have been so good to me.”

For McGraw, as the years go by, the song continues to take on more meaning. He remarked on the continued importance of the message of the song in an official statement featured on the radio station and country music news site, iHeartCountry.

“The message of that song and the scope of that song grows exponentially every day in the world that we live in now. … It started out as sort of a microscope into your life, into your world and how you teach your kids and what you want your kids to learn from you. And then it turned into this sort of worldview of how the world needs to look at each other. … We all could use a little grace and look at each other with a little humility and a little kindness. And I think that that song’s taken on more and more meaning, and I think it’s got a bigger megaphone.”

He shared how the song is so strong, it stands on its own no matter who sings it.

“I don’t think that I’m the megaphone. I think the song is.”

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